Crushed
by EmmyLovett
Summary: When Emma imagined herself getting married, it wasn't under the pretence of crippling guilt - but then when does your life turn out exactly how you had planned? Rated T just to be safe, I think it's somewhere between K and T. Please read and review -Em
1. What If?

♥

_**Crushed**_

_**Chapter one:- What If?**_

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Nate Roberts, do you take Emma Leah Keane to be your lawful wedded wife?" Nate beamed at Emma, as he held her hand in his like pieces of delicate crystal.

"I do…" He said, his heart beating faster as the words fell effortlessly out of his mouth.

"Do you promise to love her and cherish her, through better and through worse, in sickness and in health, for richer, for poorer, until death do you part?" The vicar recited poetically.

"I do…" Nate replied, looking deep into Emma's glassy silver eyes.

"Emma Leah Keane, do you take Nate Roberts to be your lawful wedded husband?" Emma nodded, not trusting any words that came out of her mouth, her mind plagued with guilt as last nights actions rolled over and over in her mind. "Do you promise to love him and cherish him, through better and through worse, in sickness and in health, for richer for poorer, until death do you part."

"I do…" Emma said, gathering as much conviction from the pit of her stomach as she could muster.

"In which case, I pronounce you husband and wife!" The whole church erupted with cheers, as Nate pressed an ornate silver ring onto Emma's finger, and Emma did the same to him. "You may kiss the bride…" Nate gently lifted up the lace covering Emma's face and pressed his lips against hers. Emma, pulled away after just seconds, and looked around the church. Her mother was in tears, mopping up the evidence with white cotton handkerchiefs and her father was bursting with pride. Looking further towards the last few rows of pews, Emma bit her lip, tears coming to her eyes as she saw Will slouched against the wooden pew, betrayal radiating from every pore in his body. He tore his eyes away from Emma's and slowly pushed past other members of the relief, before exiting the church through the tall oak doors. Emma turned to Nate, and whispered something in his ear, before kissing his cheek lightly and following in Will's footsteps out of the church, holding her ivory dress off the ground as she went.

"What the hell are you playing at?" Emma asked, as she found Will propped up against the grey stone church wall just around the corner from the doors.

"What am _I_ playing at?" Will echoed incredulously. "I can't believe you went through with that! After everything you said last night. You lied to me – got me into bed under the pretences that you wouldn't go through with today. You told me you thought we had a future together…" Will sighed, hurt. Emma looked at the pebbles lining the path.

"We can have a future together…" Emma insisted, running her gloved hand along Will's cheekbone. Will threw her arm away in disgust, pushing Emma away from his body.

"Your nothing more than a cheep slut, Emma! Sleeping with me one night, and then marrying Nate the next day." Will whispered hoarsely, walking towards Emma, with every step back she took; he took a further two closer to her. "I just hope Nate realizes what you really are before you end up with some little brat you can't stand the sight of." He spat angry, before marching from the church grounds, leaving Emma standing rooted to the spot, her tears leaving little trails of grey black mascara down her cheeks.

"Emma!" Sally shouted, almost a hint of anger tingeing her voice. "Where the hell did you… oh my God! What on earth happened to you?" Sally breathed, clapping her hands dramatically over her mouth as she saw the state Emma was in.

"It wasn't supposed to be like this…" Emma cried, falling against Sally's shoulder, her tears running not only down her own cheek, but Sally's back, being blotted out at the seems of the mint green corset Sally had squeezed into.

"What do you mean? What did Will say to you?" Sally soothed.

"I… well… we slept together." Emma paused at the sharp intake of breath Sally had just taken. "Don't lecture me yeah – Will's given me what for…"

"I wasn't gonna babe. When did it happen?"

"Last night…" Emma whispered, not quite able to believe what she was revealing. Sally pulled away from Emma shaking her head.

"What were you thinking?" Emma shook her head. "You silly cow… God Emz – what's Will got Nate hasn't?"

"I dunno… but it felt so right… everything seemed so uncomplicated when I was with him. But now… I do love Nate – I know I do, he's great – I don't know what I'd do without him. But what Will and I have… it's different. When he speaks to me, I get butterflies in my stomach, and when I'm not with him, my heart literally aches so much it hurts."

"Then why did you go through with today Emma?" Sally asked, her heart bleeding out for her torn friend.

"'Coz I couldn't bear to see Nate hurt…" Emma sighed.

"Maybe… maybe you just need to forget about last night. Forget about Will while you're on your honeymoon and just concentrate on Nate." Sally suggested, she knew that this wasn't what Emma had to do at all, but somehow, that seemed the easier option to put forward right now. Emma nodded, and wiped her tears against the back of her hand. "Lets go and get you cleaned up… I've got some foundation and mascara in my bag – no one will no you've been crying – ok?"

"Thanks Sal… most people would have hit the roof at everything I've just told you…" Emma breathed, as Sally rummaged through her bag pulling out three items.

"No worries… you can tell me anything and it won't go past me – promise. That's what friends are for…" Sally replied, squirting a walnut sized blob of neutral foundation onto the back of her hand before gently rubbing it into Emma's face, paying special attention to where the mascara had cascaded down her face. After flicking some black mascara against Emma's lashes and washing some pearly lip gloss over her lips, Sally beamed at her friend. "There you go! Good as new!" She stated, admiring her handiwork as Emma gave her wobbly smile in return. "Now get your arse back in there before Nate thinks you've jilted him!"

Emma turned back towards the church, walking through the doors, being met by a standing ovation, and Nate running towards her, and picking her up in his arms, and twirling her around. "I thought you'd left me for Will!" He laughed. Emma tried to laugh along with him, but a niggling thought in the back of her head was asking her 'What if?'

"I wouldn't leave you for the world." Emma smiled through gritted teeth, as Nate pressed his lips against hers.

"Good – 'coz neither would I… now are we gonna go and get the party started at the hotel?" Nate asked. Emma nodded, lacing her fingers through Nate's and letting herself be pulled down the aisle, cameras flashing in the new couples wake as she began to realize, Nate wasn't all _that_ bad after all.

* * *

**_Hey! This is my latest fic, it's Emma and Nate (with a little Emma and Will thrown in as you have seen) I don't want to give to much away, because once you know a little bit, you know a lot (that's a major contradiction I know, but I think you get me!) I have finished typing all the chapters (and there are quite a few!) so if you want to find out, then review and I'll update as soon as possible (I'm not bribing you - honest!). Hope you like it - _**

**_Emz xXx_**


	2. Running Rings

♥

**_Crushed_**

_**Chapter two:- Running Rings**_

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

That had all happened a year ago. Today was the first anniversary of Emma and Nate's marriage. Beth and Sally had planned a 'surprise' party for the couple at the New Angel pub later that evening, but like most things in Sun Hill it hadn't stayed a secret for very long.

"I can't believe you and Nate have been married a year!" Beth gushed, as she and Emma pulled their uniform on at the beginning of the shift.

"I know… it's flown by." Emma replied. It was true, she couldn't quite believe that her and Nate had been 'happily' married for twelve months, but she also couldn't believe how easy it had been to 'forget' about one police officer in particular.

"So have you got anything planned for tonight?" Beth asked subtly. Emma shook her head.

"A bottle of wine and an early night sounds about right!" She giggled, although to be quite honest, the thought of an early night with Nate, churned her insides as she remembered that Will would be lying at home all on his own.

"You should come down to The New Angel later on for a few drinks. Just a few of us from the relief and some wild dancing?" Beth suggested; trying to inconspicuously invite Emma and Nate to the party she and Sally had spent so long preparing and perfecting.

"Yeah… I'll see what Nate thinks." Emma nodded, smiling as she 'warmed' to the idea. "I'd better be going. Will's waiting for me in the Area car." Beth rolled her eyes.

"Honestly Mrs Roberts – you can't keep everyone happy yano…" Beth laughed, as the young blonde officer rushed around quickly perfecting her hair and make up.

"I know but I can try!" Emma grinned, ignoring Beth's comment about her surname.

"Ah… PC Keane, I hear congrats are in order…" Inspector Gold said marvelled catching Emma up. Emma raised her eyebrows – what had gotten into her this morning? Emma nodded and smiled.

"Thanks…" She sighed.

"It's only the beginning… give it a few years and you'll be running rings around each other!" Gina laughed, clapping her hand against Emma's shoulder. "No seriously – you two are made for each other… I've never seen a match so perfect!"

"Aw thanks!" Emma cooed, trying to be thrilled by Gina's latest revelation.

"I'll leave you to be getting on… I'll probably see you later down at The New Ang…" Gina stopped, and blushed. "I mean I'll probably see you around…" Emma rolled her eyes, feeling like screaming that she knew, but she thought better of it – her friendship with Beth and Sally meant too much. "Bye…" Gina rushed off around the next corridor, leaving Emma standing thoroughly bemused just in front of the door.

"Hey Will!" Emma said cheerily, as she sat into the passenger side of the marked car. Will stopped drumming his fingers on the steering wheel and looked at his watch and then back up at Emma.

"What time do you call this?" Will laughed. Emma smiled and shrugged, glad that finally, after almost a year of awkwardness, she and Will were beginning to get on how they had done before Nate had even started at the station. "So… anything planned for tonight?" Will asked softly, as he pulled out of the yard. Emma shrugged half-heartedly. "Trouble in paradise?" He asked a little too hopefully.

"No, no… just this surprise party Sal and Beth have planned. I mean don't get me wrong it's really sweet of them, but… I dunno…" Emma faltered, looking anywhere but towards Will. "That makes me sound really ungrateful dun'it…" Emma sighed. Will shrugged, not really sure what to say. "Are you gonna come down?"

"I don't think… yano, after everything…" Will replied uncomfortably.

"I thought we'd put all that behind us?" Emma demanded, her heart crushing as she saw the hurt in Will's eyes as he tried to concentrate on driving. Silence lapsed over the pair for several minutes, before Emma plucked up the courage to break it. "You should come down – even if it's just for one drink. It wouldn't be the same without you…" She sighed earnestly, however Will stuck to ignoring her. He leant forward and turned on the radio, and flicked through the channels trying to find something half decent.

And I hate how much I love you girl  
I can't stand how much I need you  
And I hate how much I love you girl  
But I just can't let you go  
And I hate that I love you so

Will stopped pressing against the buttons as he heard a beat he vaguely recognised. He turned to Emma and blushed slightly, as he listened to the lyrics.

"Sorry…" He mumbled, sitting forward once more, reaching his forefinger out, reading to change channels.

"No… don't. I like this song." Emma stated softly, pulling Will's hand from the radio, gently dropping it to his lap. Emma saw the almost panicked look in Will's eyes and couldn't help but smile to herself at his softness and vulnerability. Emma started humming along to beat of the song, until it got to a vocal section, and then she started to sing along, her voice delicate and pure as she kept perfectly in time and key to the song. "_And I hate that I love you so. And I hate how much I love you boy. I can't stand how much I need you. And I hate how much I love you boy. But I just can't let you go. And I hate that I love you so. And I hate that I love you so… so…_" The final few beats of the song died away and Will exhaled a breath he hadn't realized he had been holding as he opened his eyes, recovering from the wishful state that had convinced him, however clichéd, that Emma had been singing for him.

"Wow…" He breathed. Emma smiled shyly. "I never knew you could sing…"

"There's a lot you don't know about me Mr Fletcher… just lots…" Emma replied mysteriously.

"Suspect heading West from Greenbank Avenue towards the industrial estate in a green car, index Yankee Delta zero three Sierra Tango Echo. Can anyone deal?" Beth's voice crackled down the radio; at several times being thrown off course, by Emma assumed, Tony's erratic driving.

"We're about five minutes away Beth, keep us posted." Emma said down her radio, after getting the OK from Will. Emma sat back in her seat, Will taking the odd sharp turn, jolting her body left or right as Beth radioed through yet more directions. "I feel sick…" Emma moaned, as Will slammed the car to a halt outside a field where the car they had been following had been abandoned just seconds before.

"Come on darlin'. Just a five minutes then we can get back to the station…" Will pressed, pulling Emma through the gates and along the field as fast as he could, until Emma separated from him, getting a spurt of energy from somewhere as she began to gain on one of the two men they were chasing. Seeing some blue lights flashing overhead, Emma gasped a sigh of relief – that meant Beth and Tony were near-by. "STOP!" Emma shouted with all her might, she didn't expect either man to stop, but it made her feel better.

"COME ON GUYS… YOUR GONNA GET NICKED ONE WAY OR ANOTHER! JUST GIVE YOUR SELVES UP AND IT'LL BE EASIER FOR YOU!" Beth shouted, pulling out her asp as she ran towards the smaller of the two leather-clad men, Tony panting along behind her. The man paused slightly, allowing both Emma and Beth to corner him, asps ready in their left hands.

"You didn't half put up a fight…" Emma gasped, as she got out her cuffs from her belt. "Name?" She asked abruptly, looking up at him. "NAME?" She repeated louder, and clearer as if speaking to a young child.

"Samuel Jackson." The young man mumbled. Emma smiled, not letting it reach her eyes.

"Samuel Jackson, I am arresting you for dangerous driving. You do not have to say anything; anything you do say will be given in evidence." Emma paused for breath, the cuffs clicking into place. "Do you understand?" Samuel nodded, his shoulders slouched as he saw Will dive to ground, his hand latching onto his sidekick's ankle, causing him to tumble to the floor. Emma waited for Will to catch up with her and Beth before she led Samuel back to the car.

"Well done Emz! I'll make sure I drive more carefully back to the station." Will promised, trying to rub some mud and a grass stain off his trousers. Emma rolled her eyes and sat into the passenger seat.

"You better… other wise I'll end up throwing up. I'll have you know I am a very good aimer when it comes to projectile vomiting." Emma giggled as Will slammed to door and revved up the engine, trying to laugh.

Several hours later, Emma sat on the edge of her bed, thinking about how strange the day had been. She wouldn't have believed that just yesterday, things between her and Will had been icy and restrained, but today they had been talking freely, with the odd flirty remark thrown into the bundle. She smiled to herself as she ran some clear lip-gloss over her lips, before she quickly pushed and pulled a few strands of hair to perfection.

"How's my beautiful wife then?" Nate grinned, walking into his and Emma's bedroom, as she slipped some sliver wedged heels on, and he wrapped his arms around Emma's waist, gently kissing her neck. "You smell lovely babe…" He complemented, looking Emma up and down in the mirror, her red smock top, and indigo skinny jeans accentuating her figure, whilst her heels elongating her legs. "You look… stunnin' too!"

"Thanks…" Emma replied, kissing Nate gently, before lightly pulling her finger along his lips where she had rubbed some lip-gloss on. "Are we gonna go then? I told Beth we'd be at the pub for seven… and it's five to." Nate nodded, and took Emma's hand as he led her out of their flat door, and into the cool night air.

"The last year's been the best in my life… you know that darling'?" Emma went off into a trance, remembering Will had called her that earlier, the same compassion flowing from his voice. "Emz?" Nate probed a reply, seeing Emma gazing aimlessly ahead of him.

"Oh… yeah – sorry." Emma sighed, shaking her head. "I've loved the last year too." She smiled, as the couple crossed the road at the crossing and made their way over some glass to the glass doors, splattered with writing that read 'The New Angel'. "How are your acting skills Nate?" Nate shrugged.

"So-so I guess… why?"

"When everyone jumps out, party poppers and all; try and act surprised – yeah?" Emma laughed, reaching her hand around his back as the couple walked into the pub. "But don't over do it…" She whispered as an after thought, seeing the pub, as expected, was near enough deserted apart from some empty glasses and some wine and beer bottles littering the many tables.

"You were told seven weren't you honey?" Nate asked. Emma nodded, but feigned confusement.

"I'm sure that's what Sal said. It's five past now… everyone really should be hear…" Emma replied, sitting up on a bar stall next to Nate, his hand in hers, resting against her thigh as he ran his finger to and fro along the uneven denim material. They both smirked at each other as several doors crashed in the background, followed by muffled giggles and more crashing.

"SURPRISE!" Everyone chorused, as they jumped through some wooden doors, all falling about laughing after letting off some helium balloons, party poppers and bottles of champagne. Emma jumped off her stool and smiled, rushing over to everyone.

"Oh my God!" She gasped, winking at Will and Nate as she encased both Sally and Beth in hugs. "Was this your idea?" She asked as she pulled away. Sally and Beth looked at each other and nodded. "Awww… thank you soooo much!" Emma cooed, as everyone made their way back to their abandoned drinks. Nate passed Emma a chilled glass of white wine as she sat down next to Will, and Nate sat down next to her, a pint gripped tightly in his hand.

"Look at Nate's face…" Sally whispered to Beth from the opposite side of the table. Beth looked in Emma, Nate and Will's direction; but didn't see the usual serene look painted on Nate's face, but one of deepest loathing as he glared at Will who was in deep conversation with Emma.

"He looks reaa-lly jealous…" Beth said, pointing out the obvious. "D'ya reckon he knows something we don't?" Sally shook her head defiantly.

"Na… she wouldn't… would she?" Sally paused, not quite believing herself as a giggly Emma leant over Will to retrieve her camera he had taken off her seconds before. "Emma? Can I have a word please?" Sally called across the table. Emma sat up and quickly kissed Nate's cheek before she stood up and followed Sally to the bar. "What the hell are you playing at? Your husband is sat next to you Emma, gagging for your attention, but you're to preoccupied with Will to notice!" Emma looked at the floor guiltily.

"I can still have friends can't I Sal?" Emma asked.

"Friends yeah – of course honey. But you were flirting with Will right in front of Nate. He looked devastated. He thinks he's losing you…" Sally warned sharply. Emma sighed.

"But he isn't…"

"Get yourself back over there and ask him to dance Emz. Before _you_ lose him." Emma nodded obediently and walked over towards the table she had vacated minutes before.

"Do you… do you wanna dance?" Emma asked, perching herself on the edge of Nate's knee. Nate shrugged, looking nonplussed.

"You decided that I do matter to you now?" Nate asked spitefully. Emma stood up and took Nate's hand in her own, pulling him onto the dance floor. She wrapped her arms around his neck, and pulled herself up close to his body.

"You've always mattered to me babe…" Emma insisted.

"I'll remind you of that next time you start flirting with Will."

"We weren't flirting! We were just mucking around… there's a difference."

"I'll bear that in mind when I see a girl I'm attracted to in the street and I'm walking along hand in hand with you." Nate scoffed, pulling away from Emma. "I'll see you at home Em. I don't have to stay around with you charming every guy you get close to." Nate walked off the dance floor, leaving Emma stood, tears welling up in her eyes as the bright lights flashed red, yellow, green and blue in front of her eyes, the each colour blurring into one.

Emma ran towards the toilets, pushing her way through the crowd of officers dancing in tight circles on the dance floor in time to the music. She ran into one of the cubicles and fell against the plastic wall tiles, her head in her hands, as the last fifteen minutes span in her head, round and round, each frame jumbled with the next.

"Emma…" A soft voice rang through the silence of the girls' toilets. "What's happened?" Emma tried to stifle her cries into her hands. "Come on sweetheart… you can talk to me…"

"Go away!" Emma shouted. "It's all your fault this has happened! My first anniversary wasn't mean to be like this at all. It was s'posed to be just me and Nate curled up at home watching and film and… stuff." Emma trailed off and gently unlocked the door, falling into the warm embrace that she seemed to spend all her time dreaming of being in. "I'm sorry… it's not your fault. That was really awful of me to blame you…"

"Don't worry… just calm yourself down…" Will soothed. Emma took several deep breaths, and managed to calm her sobs. Will held his arms against the small of Emma's back as she clung to his shirt for dear life burying her head in his chest. "What happened between you and Nate?" Will asked after a few seconds of silence.

"He got angry… he was jealous of you… of us, of our friendship." Emma stuttered, looking up into Will's eyes. Will cupped Emma's face in his hands, brushing away the tears that stained her cheeks.

"Let him be jealous Emz… there's nothing for him to be jealous of. He's got you for keeps." Will sighed, his heart breaking as he spoke the words he hadn't been able to believe in the last year. "Some of us can only dream…"

"What do you mean?" Emma asked.

"He comes into the station… don't even have to do anything to gain your attention! And then there's muggins' here who's been trying to getcha for years. Before I knew it you were engaged… then married…"

"I didn't know you cared…" Emma said softly, biting her lip as she tried to contain a surreal need that overcame her body.

"Maybe it's for the best…" Will replied. Emma nodded; Will was right; as usual. "I'll leave you to it. But if you ain't back dancing in five minutes – there'll be trouble!" Emma giggled as Will made for the door, however Emma found herself jumping after him and grabbing onto his arm, pulling his body back towards him, and pressing her lips against his, their tongues clashing in a moment of passion. Will pulled away shaking his head. "What are you doing Em?" He asked desperately.

"But… but… it doesn't feel wrong." Emma replied innocently. "Please Will…" Will heard desperation in Emma's voice he hadn't heard before, and he was torn between what was right and wrong., his best friend and his best friend's wife.

"You mean to say 'Please Will, just a quick fumble back at your place, then everything back to normal tomorrow?' I dunno if I can do that. You mean too much to me…" Will sighed, closing her eyes as Emma penetrated him with a needy stare.

"I wouldn't have to be like that…" Emma stood on tiptoes and kissed along Will's jaw line and down his neck, bordering the collar on his shirt. "Tell me to stop…" She bargained, knowing that Will couldn't resist her, just like she couldn't resist him.

"What if someone comes in…" Will asked, worry tingeing his voice as he knew that it could ruin not only Emma's marriage, but also both of their careers.

"Then lets go back to yours…" Emma replied simply, turning on her heel and leading Will out of the ladies toilets, her hand gently circling against his knuckles as she pulled him out of the back exit of the pub. "It wasn't that hard. And now no one can interrupt us…" Emma breathed against Will's ear. Will shivered, but not from the harsh cold wind, but from the sheer closeness of his and Emma's body. Will flagged down a taxi, as the couple waited in the shadows of the pub, hand in hand, as if they were really dating.

Will paid off the cab driver, and quickly gathered his keys from his pocket before allowing him and Emma to fall through the front door as he pushed it open, their lips locked, in a fiery embrace. Will pushed Emma against the wall, his hands roaming freely under her top, as she dug her nails against his back, waves of pleasure over coming her. Seconds later, Emma found herself fighting with the buttons on Will's shirt as she tried in vain to get the flimsy material from around his shoulders as Will reciprocated the movement by sliding Emma's top from her body and discarding it onto the floor. Emma continued to fiddle with the buttons on Will's shirt, while he lifted her from her feet and carried her through to his bedroom, gently lowering her body to the bed, then tumbling down next to her, once again, his lips pressed tightly against hers. Will felt the material fall from around his shoulders, and Emma's hands rubbing circles into his chest, slowly moving her fingers down to the seem on his trousers and gently discarding them onto the floor.

"Are you sure about this…" Will asked quietly, as the pair realized how little clothes were lying between them and their desires. Emma nodded, kissing down Will's neck, and chest as he fiddled with her bra strap, and then eventually abandoning all of Emma's clothes to the floor and bed covers.

Forty-five minutes later, Will collapsed next to Emma, the mattress below him cushioning his fall. Emma nuzzled into his chest, wrapping her arms around his back. Will kissed the top of Emma's head, their bodies rising and falling rhythmically as they lay in silence, one and others presence enough to content them both.

The next morning, Will awoke to blinding sunlight billowing freely through the windows, the curtains not drawn to counter it. He rolled over, expecting to be able to wrap his arms around a certain young girl, however nothing, or rather no one, stopped his movement, instead; Will rolled right over, onto a warm patch of sheet. He sighed as he realized Emma had left, possibly just minutes before. It was obvious that last night was going to be one of those things never mentioned again by anyone. Sitting up, Will looked around as saw a piece of paper, lying motionlessly on the bedside cabinet.

_Will,_

_I'm sorry it has to be like this – if I could change things, then believe me, I would. But you know I can't… I married Nate for life, not just a year. And I know, that in my vows I didn't exactly say that I would end up sleeping with you – I didn't really plan it happening (but I'm glad it did). _

_I hope you understand that things must go back to normal after last night. I know what I said last night – but I… I don't know. It could hurt a lot of people – including you. And I can't let that happen. _

_I really enjoyed last night. Hope you did too. _

_Love Emma xxx _

_PS – Please don't hate me for leaving so early this morning. I couldn't face telling you all of this to your face. It would have torn me to pieces – and so much would have been left unsaid. _

Will saw several tears splash against the paper, the freshly applied eyeliner running in the pools of water. Emma obviously did mean more to him than he realized. Getting back to 'normal' was going to be harder than both Emma and Will expected… especially when so much was still lying unsaid between the couple, when both thought everything was completely crystal clear.

* * *

_What did you think?! I was going to UD tomorrow, but I'm off camping for the night with some friends (wish me luck - I'm talking gale force winds and terrential rain :o) so I won't be around to update. Anyways, please review with what you think!_

_Emz xXx_

_PS:- Thanks to Pippa, as1999, Katie, Abi, Hollie and Kim for reviewing - it means a lot :D_


	3. New Beginnings

♥

_**Crushed **_

**_Chapter three:- New Beginnings_**

"Some first anniversary that turned out be last night." Nate said sourly as Emma stepped through the front door, trying to be as quiet as possible. Kicking her shoes off, Emma pushed her way past Nate, saying nothing as she slumped on the sofa, holding her head in her hands as it spun in circles, and thumped in rhythmic beats that she could vaguely remember from the pub last night. "So you gonna tell me where you ended up last night? Was it Sally's? Or Beth's?" Nate asked knowingly, resting on the arm of the chair. Emma mumbled something barely audible, looking at the floor. "Sorry – what was that? I didn't quite hear…" He probed, his stare piecing Emma's conscience.

"I stayed…" Emma paused as she wondered what to say.

"Yes that's a good start Emma… now tell me where you did _actually_ stay…"

"Sal's…" Emma finished lamely, looking up for a split second into Nate's knowing eyes.

"Sure you did." Nate almost laughed, but Emma saw through him, and realized the pain that had descended upon him, was smothering him, slowly eating away at his insides – much like the guilt that was heaving in her stomach. "Anytime you feel like telling me the truth, you know where I'll be. I'm going to go and get ready for work – I can't bear to look at you right now." Isn't it strange how things that usually feel so strong can shatter around you within seconds? Emma thought to herself as the walls and floor shook around her signalling Nate's furious departure from the room. It wasn't just the walls and floors Emma thought would be around forever, holding strong despite life's attempts to shatter them into millions of tiny pieces, but her and Nate's marriage. Emma knew that the walls had a damn sight better chance of surviving what life threw at them – they were concreted deep into the ground, but Emma and Nate's marriage? That was only running as deep in each other's souls as the young couple would allow.

Emma jumped up from the sofa, tears threatening to over-spill her eyes, as she ran upstairs, jumping the steps two at a time. She knocked gingerly on her and Nate's bedroom door, before slowly opening it, to the squealing protests of the hinges.

"We should really get them sorted!" She tried to laugh, as she looked at the pieces of metal, before she sat down on the very smallest corner of the bed Nate was lying in the middle of. Neither Emma nor Nate said anything; both scared of how the other would interpret it. "I… I should have rung last night." Emma stammered nervously. Nate nodded, trying not to look into Emma's eyes, knowing he would mellow, seeing the tears and the hurt – or guilt…

"You should have come back home…" Emma opened her mouth to lodge her defence. "I don't care how late it was – I don't care if you were pissed." Emma closed her mouth, and started picking the embroidery on the duvet with her finger. "It was our first anniversary Emz… it was s'posed to be one of those things you always remember – for the right reasons. I'm never gonna forget yesterday – but bloody hell it'll be for the wrong reasons…"

"I'm sorry…" Was all Emma could manage – but she knew that wasn't good enough. Her entire marriage was based on lies – yet she was still holding onto Nate… clutching at desperate straws, which looked like they were about to be dropped. Or maybe he was clutching onto her – because Emma knew she could – even should go to where her heart really lay.

"Maybe we should go out somewhere tonight – just the two of us…" Nate suggested. Emma beamed, and nodded, not sure whether it would be acceptable for her to hug him – was this his way of forgiving her? "Come here babe…" Nate held out his arms as Emma crawled over the bed, and rested her head against Nate's chest, his arms encircling her waist.

"What time does your shift start?" Emma asked, her stomach churning as she realized she was imagining it was Will holding her so carefully – so lovingly.

"Nine…" Nate sighed, looking at the blue LED clock light that read 8.36. "But I wish I could stay here with you all day…" Emma rolled her eyes, her heart thumping.

"You better go – you really don't want Gina on your case. She knows you didn't drink enough to be hung over last night…" Emma said, in a tone feigning concern and best interest.

"Yeah – you're right…" Nate nodded, gently lifting Emma to the side, and getting off the bed. "I'll see you tonight…" Nate kissed Emma's lips, letting the contact linger between the them, before Emma pulled away, looking to side, before re-gaining composure, and looking up at Nate.

"I'll see you later…" She smiled, as if nothing had happened.

"Yeah… yeah – you will…" Nate replied uncertainly, deciding that already today there had been too much confrontation between him and Emma and it was best not to ask questions. Emma got off the bed and saw Nate out of the house, watching him from the lounge window, as he sauntered down the path outside of their house, blowing kisses towards the window, a cheeky grin attached to his face. Emma smiled and reciprocated the motion, before falling against the sofa; taking her phone from the coffee table and sliding it open, getting a blank text up on the screen.

Can I come round? Em xxx 

She pressed send after entering Will's number, knowing she was probably the last person he wanted to see. Within seconds, Emma's phone jumped from the coffee table, reciting its monotonous 'song'.

_I thought U couldn't face seeing me._

Emma groaned – why was it always her words that came back to haunt her? Deciding to disregard Will's text, she quickly made her way upstairs, and donned a pair of jeans, and a simple t-shirt, before leaving her house, and walking in the opposite direction to Sun Hill, towards Will's flat; a journey she knew only too well.

Emma pressed her finger on the bell, leaning her body weight on it, and not relieving it, until a slouched, unshaven figure opened the door.

"What…" He asked groggily, before he opened his eyes, slamming his hand to his mouth. "I… Emma… come in…" He said quickly, standing to one side, and letting Emma step into the warmth of his home.

"I know you weren't exactly expecting me…" Emma started as she lifted herself onto the kitchen counter, watching Will intently as he put the kettle on. "But I couldn't let last night lie after leaving you just with a note…" Will nodded, trying to stifle a yawn.

"I totally understand why you've done what you have…" Will said softly, handing Emma a steaming mug. "I… he's always gonna mean more to you than me…" Emma sighed – so everyone thought – all she needed was an excuse, and she'd be out of her and Nate's marriage.

"I'm sorry…" Emma tried to hold back the tears, as she saw how badly Will was taking the whole thing. Maybe… just maybe, he was feeling the same as Emma.

"It's ok… I'm used to… to… rejection…" Will breathed, turning to look out of the window, hurt poring out of every pore in his body.

"I'm not rejecting you!" Emma said, startled at his dim view on things. "We just can't carry on sleeping with each other – we're risking everything. Respect from everyone at the station… our jobs… not to mention my marriage." Emma tried to look on the side she was talking from. She had always been able to give advice – she just struggled taking her own.

"I don't care about any of that though – well… I wouldn't if it meant I could get with you…" Will said, emotion flowing from every pore in his body. Emma lifted herself from the counter and wrapped her arms around Will's body, as he turned in her arms.

"I'm sorry – it's just… too much to risk…" Emma sighed; relishing being held so tightly by Will for probably the last time – ever. Suddenly she began to seriously doubt her decisions. Was she really doing the right thing in sticking with Nate when she had something so amazing with Will? Was the easy way out the right way this time? "I… I better go…" Emma said quickly, knowing that the hug she had intended to lead to nothing more was about to.

"I guess I'll see you around…" Will smiled bravely, removing himself from Emma's embrace, and watching her slowly walk from his house – and his life, her feet dragging dejectedly behind her. Emma turned around as she got to the door and smiled at Will – the special smile, she kept solely for him. Will saw she had turned, but daren't look up – he knew that this was it. He had to detach and move on – Emma couldn't mess him around any more. It was the start of new beginnings…

* * *

**_Just a quick note to say thanks for reviewing as usual, and please keep it up!_**

**_Emz xXx_**


	4. Consequences

♥

_**Crushed**_

_**Chapter four:- Consequences**_

"Where did you get to the other night?" Sally asked, as she and Emma turned the corner into the Jasmine Allen estate. It was the first time in over a week since the party Sally had been alone with Emma long enough to quiz her about her antics. Emma shifted in her boots, and kept her eyes focused to the floor. "Oh my God! What happened?" Sally gasped, barely able to contain her shock, as she realized that Emma didn't go home to Nate as she expected. "Emz…" Emma looked up at Sally, biting her lip, remembering the words of warning Sally had spoken to her during the wedding after confiding in her.

"Nothing happened…" Emma said simply. Sally rolled her eyes knowingly.

"Sure…" Sally agreed with Emma for a split second. "Come on Emz… who did you go home with…" Emma didn't say anything, her heart beginning to thud against her chest as Sally started reeling through the names of people from the station. "Ben… Callum…" Emma couldn't help but giggle at the thought of her superior and herself starting up some sordid affair. "Alright ok… so that was stupid… Stuart… no – no you wouldn't… err… Smithy?"

"That's worse than Stuart!" Emma laughed, rolling her eyes. "Gimme some credit Sal… if I was gonna sleep with someone – it wouldn't just be anyone…"

"Please tell me it wasn't…" Sally sighed, mortified as Emma looked up at her. "It was Will wasn't it?" Emma half nodded, abruptly clutching her head, and stopping suddenly so she could support herself against the low wall next to her as her head began to violently spin, she felt like she was walking through the sky in a dreamlike state. "Emma what's wrong?" Sally asked worriedly, running to her friend's aid. "Shall I call an ambulance? Emma… what's happening?" Sally continued to bombard Emma with questions, not sure what to do for the best, holding her radio to her mouth, her finger hovering over the 'call' button.

"I… I'll be fine." Emma gasped. "Just gimme… a second…" Her breathing became laboured and within seconds she had doubled over in pain, her hand subconsciously resting, protectively over her stomach.

"680 to Sierra 1… ambulance requested to Karling Close on the Jasmine Allen." Sally paused as Emma's hand grabbed onto Sally for extra support.

"I'm fine…" Emma repeated.

"You and Will? Did you… I mean were you careful?" Sally asked apprehensively, guiding Emma over to a black bench a few meters up the road.

"What do you mean?" Emma asked, closing her eyes and screwing her face up in pain.

"When you slept together did you use protection?" Sally said bluntly. Emma frowned. "Are you pregnant? Could you be pregnant?" Emma shook her head.

"No… no way… I mean… I just – I couldn't be." Emma said, trying to come to the terms with this new idea. "I… but… we only did it once…"

"Shh…" Sally soothed, helplessly watching the tears of distress role down Emma's cheeks. "The ambulance'll be here in a second… just concentrate on your breathing." Emma took several deep breaths. "That's it… in through your mouth out through your nose… well done Emz – that's great." Emma tried to smile at Sally's words of encouragement, but decided it best to concentrate on this new, but unwelcome sensation that was washing over her body, ripping brutally through her stomach in steady pulses.

Electric blue lights bounced off the windows of the houses opposite, as the brakes of the ambulance screeched to halt against the kerb, and two green-clad men jumped out, rushing towards Sally and Emma.

"Rob and Nathan." The younger of the men smiled, as the other began fussing over Emma. "What happened Miss…" Nathan continued smoothly.

"PC Armstrong." Sally said bitterly, taking to no nonsense from the medic, getting the feeling he was hitting on her, in the very wrong circumstances. "About an hour ago, she was elbowed in the stomach by a prisoner. She seemed fine when we left the station… and then suddenly… she just doubled over – I didn't know what to do." Sally looked towards Rob, who was nodding, as he took Emma's pulse, tutting to himself, and shaking his head. "Is everything ok?" Sally asked, beginning to panic a little.

"We need to get her down to the hospital ASAP…" Rob ordered, looking at Nathan, who nodded, seemingly clueless. Rob turned to Sally. "Can I have her name and date of birth please?"

"Emma Roberts – she's 27, her birthday is on the 8th of June." Rob nodded, scribbling on his note pad, before helping Emma up onto her feet and leading her towards the back of the ambulance. Once Emma was lying on the stretcher, Sally heard the siren above her start blaring, and the ambulance lurch into speedy motion. "What's happening?" Sally asked, as Emma squirmed in pain, as Rob plunged a needle into her arm, in an attempt to cancel out the pain.

"Is there any chance Ms Roberts could be pregnant?" Rob asked, looking at Sally, and then at Emma, before he repeated the question. "Is there any chance you could be pregnant miss?" Emma nodded, almost ashamed. Rob squeezed Emma's hand reassuringly, and smiled at her.

"Ok… well I'm no expert on pregnancy and miscarriage…" A flash of panic registered in her eyes, thinking she was about to be told the baby she never knew she was having, was no more. "Don't worry Ms Roberts! There's nothing to show you are miscarrying." Emma and Sally both simultaneously breathed a sigh of relief. "You might not even be pregnant… if you aren't sure, then neither am I… we'll get you checked over at St Hugh's – and you'll be right as rain within hours I'm sure of it."

In a matter of minutes, the ambulance pulled up at the hospital, and Nathan wheeled Emma into a ward, as Rob updated an official looking woman, who nodded, and shook her head accordingly. Nathan and Sally helped Emma up onto a bed, among ladies who were heavily pregnant, and women who were lying asleep next to clear cots.

"Emma, I'm Dr Carey. I would like to run some tests on you… a blood and a pregnancy test to be specific. I would also like to get an x-ray of your stomach – Rob told me you were elbowed earlier on in the day… I just want to check for any damage." Emma smiled and nodded. "Would you like to be alone – or would you like your colleague to stay with you?" Emma looked up at Sally pleadingly.

"Do you mind?" Sally shook her head.

"Course not. I'll just ring Gina… tell her where we are." Emma nodded, and watched Sally walk from the ward.

"Ok Emma... I'd like to take some blood, and then whilst that is being examined at the lab, you can sort out a pregnancy test." Emma nodded, at gasped at the size of the needle a nurse produced from a sealed packet.

"You won't even notice it's there… just take a deep breath." The nurse smiled, plunging the thin piece of metal into Emma's arm, and pressing down on the plastic pump. Emma clenched her teeth together, and curled her fingers into the palm of her hand, her knuckles going white, and her nails piercing the skin on the palm of her hand. So much for not noticing anything. "There you go – that was great love." Emma nodded, and closed her eyes in relief as the needle was drawn from her skin. "I'll take this off to the lab, and made sure it's processed super fast so you can get sorted quickly." Emma smiled appreciatively, and saw Sally approach her bed again, sliding her phone into her pocket.

"Gina's worried about you…" Emma laughed.

"Probably worried she'll be losing an officer for a few days if anything comes of this." Emma grinned, as Sally picked up the white paper bag that had been placed next to Emma's bed.

"Pregnancy test?" Sally asked. Emma sighed, her mouth dry. "When you gonna do it?" Emma shrugged, her mouth going dry at the thought of how much her life could change in the next hour. "You should get it done sooner rather than later yano…"

"Emma… Dr Carey has told you to take this. The morphine you were given in the ambulance will be wearing off in a little while." The nurse pushed a white plastic cup into Emma's grasp, and watched her down the pearly pink liquid, before reclaiming the cup, and leaving Emma and Sally to it.

"Do you want me to come with you to the loo's when you do the test?" Sally asked kindly, watching Emma scan the instructions apprehensively.

"D'ya mind?" Emma asked as she swung her legs over the side of the bed. Sally shook her head, and followed Emma along the corridor signed to the toilets. Emma pushed open the door, hoping that no one else would be there. "Good luck…" Sally smiled, pushing Emma into one of the cubicles, knowing that Emma would quite happily loiter outside for sometime. Sally crossed her index finger over her middle finger and put it up next to her head, biting her lip, nervous for the young woman in front of her.

Two minutes later Emma came out of the cubicle, the white stick wrapped in tissue as if it was to shield her eyes from the results. She placed it on the sink and lifted herself onto the counter, her head held in her hands.

_How could I have been so stupid to sleep with another guy? And then not to even get the pill the morning after. It would have taken maybe five… ten minutes. And now… now the lies won't just be based around me but the child too. How will Nate feel when he realizes that the kid he's brought up isn't his…_

_But there's hope for us yet – it might be his child. On second thoughts, I might not be pregnant at all…_

"How long you gotta wait?" Sally asked. Emma shrugged, and threw Sally the instructions. "Three minutes… that's gotta be up by now? Hasn't it?" Emma shrugged, and looked away from the mound of toilet role next to her, shaking her head. "You gotta do it Emz… you can't just ignore it."

"But I don't wanna be pregnant. Be it Nate's baby or Will's." Emma said stubbornly.

"I hate to say this Emma… but you're old enough to know what the consequences of having sex are." Emma scowled at Sally – she was supposed to be there for moral support surely? "Oh come on Em – just look at the damn thing and then you can work out what your gonna do." Emma took her hand from her lap, trying to stop it shaking as she gingerly picked up the piece of plastic from the side, and unwrapped it from the tissue. "Well?" Sally asked, Emma's facial expressions giving nothing away.

"I… it's positive…" Emma sighed, her bottom lip trembling, and tears starting to well up in her eyes.

"Whatcha gonna do?" Sally asked; wrapping her arms around Emma's neck is if to say everything will be ok.

"I can't get rid of it!" Emma said indignantly. "Mum and dad taught me that I had to take the consequences for my actions. So that's what I have to do."

"Even if it means your marriage gets ruined because of it?" Sally asked, looking at Emma. Emma shrugged.

"I guess you learn from your mistakes…"

"But what if Nate leaves you… you can't bring up a child with out a father." Sally interjected.

"I can't abort a baby though. It's not done anything wrong…" Emma said frowning. "I'll always love it. I can bring up a child better than two parents who are either always working, off their heads on smack or forever arguing."

"Babies cost a lot…" Sally continued. "You wouldn't be able to come out with us girls as much – if at all…" Emma sighed.

"Well that's a consequence I'm going to have to live with."

Emma made her way out of the toilets and back to the ward she had left ten minutes earlier. She handed Dr Carey the pregnancy test, and smiled nervously at the doctor.

"Good girl…" Dr Carey smiled, as Emma perched herself on the edge of the bed. "Right… I've got your blood test back." Emma nodded, annoyed with the doctor for holding her in suspense, much like they do when revealing the winning on reality TV shows – this, after all, was her life in the doctors hands. "And it would appear nothing's wrong – well nothing that a course of anti-inflammatory won't cure. What I've found is that some of your muscles in your stomach has become inflamed – I assume from you being elbowed earlier on today."

"Is it safe for me to take anti-inflammatory drugs if I'm pregnant?" Emma asked; handling the prescription she had just been handed with some caution.

"Absolutely. It'll say on the box, but take two pills twice a day with a meal and you'll be fine…" Emma knew the doctor knew best, so decided to not in agreement. Emma picked up her coat from the side, and stood up, holding the prescription. "Before you go, would you like me to organize a scan for you?" Emma looked at Sally, panic evident in her eyes.

"I… I… err… I'm s'posed to be on duty…" Emma stuttered. "And – I think my husband would probably like to be here…" Sally raised her eyebrows, and put her hands on her hips.

"Sure – you should book one in soon though." Dr Carey smiled, leading Emma over to the desk where she flicked through the diary. "How about Friday… as in this Friday coming?" Emma half shrugged, half nodded. "Ok… 9.20?" Again Emma nodded. "Great – one of our midwives will see you and Mr Roberts then – take care." Dr Carey smiled, showing off her pearly white teeth, as Emma and Sally turned and left the ward, grateful to get away from the over-kind atmosphere that the doctor had struck up.

Sally retrieved her phone from the pocket of her black trousers, and dialled Gina's direct number. "Inspector – it's Sally… yes, yes she's fine but I don't think she should come back into work today… she has a few things to sort out you see – and I think she's been through enough today… I just don't think her head would be on the game… Ok… I'll see you in a bit…" Sally smiled at Emma who was sitting on the brick wall, picking the pinkish red petals off a small flower, trying to forget about the life changing news she had just been subject of. "You've got the rest of the day off Emma – I'd go home and sort everything out in your head before Nate gets back. He'll want to know how things went at the hospital…" Emma dropped the now petal-less flower on the floor, and looked at Sally, unable to conceal her shock.

"N…Nate… how does he know?"

"Gina told him – duh! She couldn't exactly not tell him that his wife had been rushed to hospital." Sally replied, as if it was obvious. "Anyway – I think he was there when Gina's radio went off…"

"But… but she had no right. I'd have told Nate in my own time!" Emma objected, standing up, the flower and several of the petals squashing under her boot.

"Don't go taking the moral high ground after everything Emz…" Sally warned. "Now go home and sort yourself out. Nate's shift finishes in an hour or so. He'll be home quick as a shot knowing what a day you've had." Emma rolled her eyes as if to say that her words were not reassuring her, or making everything seem less like the end of her life than it actually was.

"Bye…" Emma mumbled, sub-consciously letting her hand rest on her stomach as she turned and walked up the street outside the hospital, her mind far from where she was now.

_"I'm pregnant…" Emma mumbled shamefacedly, her mind shouting that it should indeed be Will she was telling first. Emma looked up at Nate, scared of what his facial expressions would be saying. Would he know it wasn't his baby? Would he confront her about it?_

"_I… don't know how to say this… but I have too… I – I'm pregnant…" Emma whispered, holding the phone close to her ears, tears threatening to overspill her eyes. Silence met Emma's statement. "Will?" She asked hoarsely. Again he didn't say anything, and all that could be heard down the phone were short, sharp gasps. Something was telling Emma that even though Will was most likely the father, she shouldn't be telling him first, but Nate, who would probably be bringing up the child as his own… hopefully…_


	5. Right Again

_**Crushed**_

_**Chapter five:- Right Again**_

"Emz… Emma?" Nate shouted desperately, after almost tripping through the door, desperate to find out what had been wrong with Emma. Emma pulled herself into a sitting position on the sofa, smiling weakly as Nate popped his head around the lounge door. "Oh my God! You look terrible… I mean… well…" Nate rolled his eyes and dived forward, encasing Emma in a strong hug, worried if he let go, she'd diminish in front of him. "What happened? Are you ok?"

"Yes! Yeah – I'm fine…" Emma mumbled into Nate's t-shirt. 

"Do you want a drink or anything?" Nate asked. Emma shook her head and pointed to a mug on the coffee table. "So… what happened?" 

"Sit down, and shut up – then I might be able to get a word in edge ways!" Emma giggled, pulling down on Nate's sleeve so he landed on the seat next to her. "Some guy elbowed me this morning… Sal insisted that the FME checked me out – she thought everything seemed to be in order. And it was. Sorta." 

"Well… God Emma – there are some things you don't keep me in suspense about!" Nate practically shouted, taking hold of Emma's hand nervously.

"I got really bad stomach pains whilst we were walking around the Jasmine Allen. I thought it would go… maybe lack of food or something… Sally called for an ambulance and the medic wondered if I was miscarrying…" 

"You were pregnant?" Nate asked quietly. "Why did you tell me?" He asked suddenly, tears flooding into his eyes for the child that never was. 

"No… no…" Emma stuttered, taking her hand from Nate's, starting to pick at a lose thread on the sofa. "Oh… it doesn't matter…" Emma lied, attempting to stand up so she could get away from Nate's intense stare. 

"I think it does matter…" Nate said sternly, standing up, and pushing Emma back against the sofa with some force. 

"I… ok… well – look please don't hate me." Nate rolled his eyes, tapping his foot anxiously against the floor. "I'm pregnant…" Nate opened and closed his mouth several times, his foot slowly ceased tapping, and the colour drained from his face.

"I thought you said…"

"That the medic thought I had miscarried – well he was wrong…" Emma explained slowly. Nate held his head in his hands, not sure what to make of everything. "What's wrong?" Emma asked quietly, resting her hand on the small of his back. "It is ok… about it… isn't it? I thought you'd be pleased…" 

"No… I mean God! Yeah I am – it's just a shock." Nate stuttered, pulling Emma into his side. "I didn't realize that we'd… yano – had sex without protection in the last month…" Emma shifted uncomfortably in her seat – Nate was right – they hadn't. 

"No… but it doesn't matter?" Emma asked. Nate smiled and shook his head.

"Course it don't – it's the best news I've had all my life. Well besides when you said you'd marry me of course…" Nate lifted Emma's chin up with his finger, and kissed her lips softly, slowly snaking his arms around her waist, letting his left hand rest on her stomach. "You'll have to tell Gina… I don't want you have a repeat of today…" Emma nodded, hoping Nate wasn't going to get too get over protective of her so early on. 

"I can look after myself yano…" Emma said softly. Nate smiled and nodded.

"I know you can baby…" Nate kissed Emma again, before pulling away, looking deep into her eyes. "I love you…" Emma closed her eyes, and sighed deeply, re-opening them suddenly as visions of Will were painted before her. 

"Yeah… I know…" Emma stuttered, her heart thumping against her chest, so loud she wouldn't have been surprised if Nate had heard. "…I… err… love you too." Emma smiled, standing up, the intimacy her and Nate were sharing getting too much for her. Nate looked up at her, startled by her sudden movement. "Food… I'm going to get something to eat… do you want anything?" Emma asked hurriedly. 

"I can't have you rushing around after me – let me sort something…" Nate insisted. Emma rolled her eyes and bit her lip.

"It's fine – I don't want much." 

"It's no trouble Emma – put your feet up. I'll get you something to eat and then go and run you a bath…" Nate offered.

"Right Nate, let me get one thing clear…" Emma said, her tone deep and almost threatening. "I'm pregnant not dying – I can still walk, and I can still talk. Which means I am perfectly ok to go and make myself some tea and run myself a bath! OK?!" Emma asked heatedly, walking from the lounge, slamming the door behind her. 

"Hormones…" Nate muttered to himself under his breath. 

"IT'S NOT EFFING HORMONES NATE!" Emma screamed from behind the door. Nate smirked, flopping down on the sofa and changing the channel from HollyOaks to Sky Sports. 

Emma made her way into the kitchen, and hoisted herself up onto the counter, pulling her phone from her pocket and opening up a blank text.

Told him. Ta for today – Emz xXx

Emma pressed send, wondering what she fancied to eat. After riffling around in the cupboard, she came across a large bar of Galaxy chocolate from Christmas almost five months ago. Some things never change! She thought to herself, as she tore open the foil and broke of a cube of the brown brick, letting it melt into a rich gooey substance in her mouth. Feeling her phone vibrate in her pocket, Emma pressed the 'answer' button, and held it to her ear with her neck. 

"Hello?" 

"How d'he take it?" Sally asked, worry evident in her voice.

"Ok… considering." Emma lowered her voice. "I think he knows…"

"Knows what? About Will?" 

"Not necessarily about _him_ – but that it wasn't him… if you get me…" 

"Shit… that isn't good hon…" 

"Well duh! Course it's not good!" Emma sighed. "I think he's ok though… he was perfectly 'normal' after it had sunk in…"

"That's great – yano you have to tell Will still though…" 

"No I don't!" Emma protested, her voice full of anxiety. "Do I?"

"It's only his baby Emma." Sally sighed, knowing the truth hurt. "He has a right to know. If he wants to be part of the kid's life – you can't stop him…"

"But that's why I don't wanna tell him…" Emma said, her voice hushed and hoarse.

"It's best it coming from you – what if he got all jealous… then demanded a paternity test. It could get really nasty if you leave it. You could end up like some of those messed up kids on Jeremy Kyle." Emma giggled at the thought of her sitting on one of the blue seats in between Nate and Will, her greasy hair pulled back tight off her face, with Nate and Will threatening to knock each others heads off. "It's not funny Emma! I'm being serious! If you're up front about everything with him, maybe you can make arrangements without everyone having to know. Nate might find out – but he'd forgive you – he worships the ground you walk on babes." 

"I guess your right – I'll wait a little while though. Just until after the first scan…" 

"When am I ever not right?" Sally laughed. "Anyway nothing might come of you telling Will – he ain't ready for a kid… anyone can see that." Emma felt her shoulders drop – who had she been kidding hoping that Will would suddenly demand she move out of her and Nate's house and into his in some weird act of passion?

"Hmm… I guess your right – again!" Emma smiled. Sally laughed down the phone – at least someone was happy right now. "I better go – Nate's coming. Bye…" 

"Good luck – you're doing the right thing…" 

"I hope so…" Emma quickly ended the call as Nate stepped into the kitchen. "Hi…" She smiled quickly, moving the chocolate bar out his eye line. 

"Who was that?" He asked suspiciously.

"Sally…" Emma said, a little to quickly. Nate frowned, but nodded. "I'm going to go and have a bath… I'm knackered…" 

"Ok darlin' – take it easy!" 

"I'm only going for a bath!" Emma laughed, kissing Nate's cheek as she pushed her way past him, before making her way upstairs. Emma retrieved her fluffy white dressing gown from her room, and took it into the bathroom, hooking it over the door, before she poured a generous amount of lilac bubble bath into the white tub, as the steamy water ran in, splashing against the sides. Emma peeled off her t-shirt and trousers, before she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror opposite. She gently pulled at the skin on her stomach sighing deeply, as tears threatened to overflow her eyes. Emma closed her eyes in disgust, and turned around so she could no longer see herself in the mirror. Maybe she wasn't quite as ready for a child as she thought...


	6. Great Minds Think Alike

3

_**Crushed**_

_Chapter six:- Great Minds Think Alike_

Emma knocked apprehensively on Gina's door, rocking backwards and forwards on the balls of her feet.

"Come in!" Emma opened the door, and closed it, before she turned to face Gina. "PC Keane – what can I do for you?" Emma shifted uneasily in her boots, and dug deep into her pocket for the appointment note the doctor had given her two days ago.

"I… err… I've got an appointment at the hospital in two hours." Emma said quietly, handing Gina the piece of card.

"Just a check up after Wednesday?" Gina inquired, turning over the card.

Emma Roberts To see 

_Tanya Smith_

At

_9.20_

On

_Friday 29__th__ August 2008_

"It's ehm… a…"

"Tanya Smith? I'm sure I recognise that name from somewhere…" Gina mumbled, cutting across Emma. "Yes… God – she's Sergeant Smith's sister. I'm sure he said she's a midwife…" Emma started to panic – what if Smithy found out?

"Yeah… yeah…" Emma stuttered, looking at the floor, to avoid Gina's questioning stare. Gina didn't say anything, determined to get the truth from the young officer. "I'm pregnant…" Emma mumbled. "That's what Wednesday was all about. The reason I got those pains was because I was pregnant." Emma explained.

"Well I better put you on light duties then hadn't I?" Emma shook her head pleadingly.

"I can't be that far gone. When I start to show – fine… but not yet. Please?"

"Well… I shouldn't – but I'll give you a few months." Emma smiled thankfully.

"I just don't want everyone to know. Anything could happen…" Gina nodded understanding, silencing Emma.

"Ok… well your paired with PC Fletcher today. I'll make sure you aren't on the street and then you can jet off when you need too." Emma rolled her eyes.

"… Will… err… ok…" Emma stuttered. "Ok… thanks…" Emma tried to conceal her anxiety about working with Will. Surely he'd be asking a tonne of questions.

"Good luck Emma." Gina smiled. Emma tried to smile back, however she only managed a small wobbly frown. Emma turned around to leave Gina's office. "Nate must be so proud!" She cooed. Emma rolled her eyes before turning so she could face Gina again.

"Yeah… yeah he is…" Emma pressed down on the handle and stepped gratefully out of Gina's office, and made her way to the briefing room. Emma looked through the slightly distorted window that lay between the corridor and briefing room. She could see several figures sat slumped over chairs already, one of whom she could clearly make out to be Will. Taking a deep breath, Emma pushed her body weight down onto the door handle, and sat down on the chair, closest to the door, without catching anyone's eye.

"Hey…" Beth chirped, bouncing over to Emma and sitting next to her on the vacant chair. Emma smiled, looking at Beth from the corner of her eye. "I'm so glad you came in! Will, Dan and Ben were having an argument about who was going to win the footie league this year." Beth giggled, eyeing the boys, and rolling her eyes. Emma smiled, not at the idea of grown men fighting over something so trivial, but at the smallness of their worries compared to her. She was sure once Will knew, he too would agree with her. "God… boys are just so… hang on… What's up?" Beth asked suddenly, realizing Emma wasn't following her rant. Emma shook her head.

"Nothing… I'm fine. Late night that's all…" Emma lied, looking pointedly at Will, trying to prove a point to herself. Beth followed her gaze over to Will, who was staring at Emma, the same hurt she had felt radiating off him back at his house when she had ended things with him cutting through her again.

"With him?" Beth questioned, shock resounding in her voice. Emma looked panicked for a second, before she was able to rearrange her face.

"God no…" Emma replied, trying to get the same shock in her voice that Beth had managed.

"Why the hell would she wanna sleep with him?" Dan laughed, clapping Will over the shoulder. Beth cast a worried glance over at Will who has sunk even lower in his seat, his face glowering as if trying to think of some witty come back.

"That was uncalled for." Emma spat, looking between Beth, Dan and Will, each more surprised Emma had jumped to Will's aid. Dan looked taken aback. "I wouldn't have thought Honey would have sunk to your level – but I don't go shouting about it." Emma retaliated, about to open her mouth for strike three, but behind her, she heard the door open, so decided best of it; instead she turned around, to face the front, just seeing Will mouth thank you from the corner of her eye.

"What's happened in here?" Smithy asked, looking at the small, silent group before him. They all shook their head simultaneously. "Seriously? You could cut the tension with a knife – and your all dead quiet." Still, the room stayed silent. "Fine – but you better sort it out between yourselves before the Inspector gets here." Emma and Beth turned around on their seats, looking accusingly at Dan.

"I… err… sorry mate…" Dan sighed, turning his attention from the girls to his 'best mate'. "Normally – yano, you can take a joke… I didn't think you'd mind." Will smiled and shook his head, before looking at Emma questioningly.

"What the hell is going on?" Smithy asked from the side, looking over at the group who were in the centre of the slightly fuller briefing room.

"Nothing…" Emma and Will chorused, both turning to each other and smiling slightly. Dale frowned, and rolled his eyes.

"I'm not even gonna try and understand." Dale relented.

"Understand what exactly?" Gina asked, making her presence known at the front of the room.

"Well that's exactly it – I don't know. You got some secretive officers here." Gina looked over the group, some of whom were looking just as confused as Gina, but Emma, Beth, Dan, Will and Ben knew exactly what was happening; and that was shown in their faces. "As long as it don't affect their work." Gina sighed after some time of silence. "Right… ok – pairings… Emma and Will in the Evidence Room, Beth and Tony in the Area car, Dan and Nikki on the Jasmine Allen, Diane and Sally in CID as yesterday, Honey and Reg I want you doing door to door around the area we found Grace Darlington's body – everyone else I want you actively patrolling that area. Remember the culprit is still at large – people are scared and unless we show that our paramount concern is keeping the rest of the neighbourhood safe, the papers are going to be all too quick to start passing the blame around." Everyone murmured something inaudible in response, before the scuffing of chairs and scramble for the doors signalled the end of the briefing.

Will held the evidence door open for Emma, before he flicked the light switch on; revealing the chaos the room was in. bags, boxes and files were covering every centimetre of the floor, and the two desks.

"Bloody hell…" Emma sighed, as she pushed the door closed. Emma bent down to have a look at the labels on the folders and bags. "Grace Darlington – that's why it's such a damn mess – coz CID are in and out of here checking different pieces of evidence."

"Any work we do now – is just going to get undone within the next day." Will moaned, throwing a pile of folders from a chair onto the floor, and flopping down on it. Emma moved a few boxes around; so she could get to the signing in and out book.

"Where the hell are we going to start?" Emma asked, looking around her. "Ok…" Emma picked up a pile of boxes from the floor and checked the label, before placing them on one of the many shelves, in the right spot. Slowly, Emma managed to start making floor space around her, leaving behind the odd box, file or bag that had Grace's reference on so CID could get to it easily without having to moving any of her neatly placed evidence. Sitting on the chair, Will watched the little blonde woman flit around, checking notes, and labels before stretching up at placing the evidence in the corresponding place. Something told him she wanted to get out of the tiny room as soon as possible. "What's the time?" Emma asked, stopping for a second, and looking around her proudly.

"Five past nine. Why?" Will asked, after looking at his watch.

"Shit… ok… err… I should be back soon. I've got an appointment at the hospital in ten minutes. I'm gonna be so late!" Emma said quickly, rushing to the door.

"Do you want me to drop you down?" Will asked kindly, entranced by Emma's movements.

"No – no. Nate's picking me up." Emma looked briefly at Will, who smiled and nodded. "But thanks. God… I better go! Bye…" Emma rushed from the Evidence Room, quickly turning back. "I expect all those boxes to be away when I get back!" Emma laughed. Will grinned – he hadn't done anything in the last hour so he highly doubted anything would change now.

Emma ran from the station, seeing Nate's car just on the other side of the wall. She undid two buttons on her shirt, the summer sunshine hot, even so early in the morning.

"Alright babe?" Nate asked, once Emma had sat in the car. He leant over and pressed a kiss against her lips, before turning the ignition on. "Who you paired with today?"

"Will – he wasn't best pleased with me going!" Emma giggled. "I left him in the Evidence Room. It's a tip." Nate smiled.

"The murder case has that to answer for a I guess?" Emma rolled her eyes and nodded.

"We kept all that to one side so CID can get to it easily." Emma replied. Nate nodded, coming to a halt by some traffic lights just around the corner from the hospital. The couple lapsed into an edgy silence as Nate pulled up into the hospital car park, looking worriedly at Emma. Emma got out of the car, walking hurriedly into the building, leaving Nate trailing someway behind her.

"Emma!" Nate shouted, just before she disappeared up some stairs. Emma stopped and turned around. "I know your nervous honey – I am too." Nate soothed, taking Emma's hand and pulling her gently up the stairs and following the signs to the maternity ward. Nate walked over to the waiting area whilst Emma signed herself in.

"Emma Roberts to see Tanya Smith." Emma said quietly to the young receptionist.

"Take a seat – she'll be with you in a second." The young girl smiled. Emma walked over to where Nate was sitting. Emma sat down next to Nate, looking around at the many other women around her, all in varying stages of their pregnancy. Nate took Emma's hand from her lap and squeezed it reassuringly.

"Do you want me to come in with you?"

"Of course I do!" Emma smiled. "Your only my husband!" Nate put his arm around Emma, and pulled her into his side. "I love you." Emma sighed quietly, surprising herself with this latest revelation.

"I love you too…" Nate replied.

"Emma Roberts…" A fairly young nurse popped her head around the door, looking around the waiting room. Emma stood up, holding her hand out for Nate to take, before she moved hastily towards the room, keeping her head down. "Emma, I'm Tanya; and I'll help you through your pregnancy – any questions you have, then I'll always be on the other end of a phone. I take it this is your partner?" Tanya looked towards Nate, who was holding one arm around Emma protectively.

"Yeah…" Tanya smiled.

"Well there's no need to be nervous." She chirped. "If you'd like to take a seat on the bed, sir, there's a chair for you if you would like…" Emma lay down on the bed, and braced herself for what might happen next, glad Nate had declined the chair, instead holding her hand. "Ok… so this is your first pregnancy – no… sorry. Second." Nate frowned at Emma, not letting go of her hand, but tightening his grip. "Ok… last time it seems there were complications during the seventh week. What we'll be able to do, is put you on a course of vitamins and such just to prevent a miscarriage again." Emma looked up at the midwife, tears staining her cheeks.

"You mean it could happen again?" Emma asked, her voice high pitched and full of concern.

"There's a very small chance. Only one percent of women who miscarry in their first pregnancy will miscarry again." Tanya reassured gently. Emma nodded and smiled weakly, the pain that Emma had felt all those years ago, still raw. "Do you know how far gone you are?" Emma shook her head.

"I only found out on Wednesday." Tanya nodded, and pulled on some blue rubber gloves, before lifting up Emma's work shirt and gently pressing down on strategic places on her stomach. Once seemingly happy with what she had found out, or more to the point, what she hadn't, the midwife retrieved a bottle full of what Emma knew to be the cool clear jelly. "You probably remember this…" Emma nodded. "It's a little cold… just brace yourself." Emma closed her eyes, the familiar cooling sensation rippling over her body, sending Goosebumps down her arms. Tanya pressed the plastic monitor to Emma's stomach, and rolled it lightly over the gel.

"Look!" Nate smiled, pointing at the green blob on the screen next to him. Emma felt a pang of guilt deep down in her stomach as she saw the proud smile etched onto Nate's face. It should really have been Will there – but it wasn't – and it never was going to be.

"I'd say you were about… two… three weeks gone which means you'll be due on the…" Tanya walked over to her calendar and counted out forty weeks. "11th May 2009." Emma smiled – it seemed like such a long time away. Nate however wasn't lying. There was a niggling thought in the back of his head that two, even three weeks ago, they hadn't slept together. At all. Either, as he hoped and prayed, the midwife was wrong, or Emma had been playing away; which he doubted. Emma surely wasn't capable of that was she? He knew she had been acting a little strange recently but that would be down to the hormones and change her body was experiencing. Right?

"I'd like to see you again in three weeks time, just to check everything is going ok. Before then, I'd like you to keep up your vitamin and mineral supplements. You should stay away from alcohol, drugs and cigarette smoke… neither of you smoke do you?" Both Emma and Nate shook their heads. "Good, good. Emma, I'm sure you wouldn't go near drugs – being a police officer and all." Emma smiled and shook her head.

"Been there done that. Wouldn't ever go back." She replied. Tanya nodded.

"Rightie… anything else? Just take it easy. Gentle exercise is good – you don't need to worry about being put on light duties just yet – but don't go getting yourself elbowed again." Tanya smiled, referring to Wednesday. "There are some leaflets you can take… about… well everything. My phone number is… here." Tanya pulled out her card and handed it to Nate. "Have either of you got any questions?" Emma looked at Nate, and they both shook their heads after wracking their brains. "Great! Well… good luck…" Tanya smiled, after quickly wiping off the sticky gel from Emma's stomach. "I'll see you in a few weeks. Just drop in at some point and I'll try and fit you in. It's dead quiet at the moment." Emma got off the bed, and took Nate's hand.

"Thank you." Emma smiled, as Nate opened the door.

"One more thing… do you know Dale Smith?" Tanya asked. Both Nate and Emma nodded, turning to face the nurse.

"He's your brother – right?" Emma asked, suddenly seeing the resemblance Gina had spoken about. "Look – can you not mention it? We haven't told anyone down the station yet…"

"No worries – you have full confidentiality." Tanya smiled. Emma nodded. "I'll see you both in a few weeks hopefully." Emma smiled and pulled Nate from the room, hanging onto his hand.

* * *

**_I've just realised that the last few updates have been really rushed, and I've not had chance to put anything at the bottom. Thanks to the four or five of you who have continuall reviewed, I really, really appriciate it. Please, please keep it up, and if you read it, please, please take the time to review. _**

**_Hope you're liking it._**

**_Emily xxx_**


	7. Questions & Answers

_**Crushed**_

_**Chapter seven:- Questions and Answers**_

"Where've you been?" Will barked, as soon as Emma stepped into the Evidence Room, the mess she left scattered across the floor still in the exact same place.

"I told you…" Emma said simply, bending down and picking up some files in a large cardboard box. "…I went to the hospital." Will jumped up to Emma's aid as the box began to rock in her arms. "I'm fine!" She snapped, pulling the box from Will's grip, and almost toppling over in the process.

"Sure." He sighed, watching Emma struggle with box as he sat down in defeat. Why was it women would never accept a man's help? "So… am I allowed to ask why you went to the hospital?" Will asked. Emma looked over at him briefly, and then at her stomach, biting down hard on her lip.

"You can ask… but I don't have to answer." Emma replied harshly.

"There was a time when you'd tell me anything." Will mused. "It didn't seem to matter what it was – but I was able to get it outta you some how!"

"Times have changed Will and you know it." Emma retorted. "I'm married – and we've gone places we can't come back from. Things have happened that I'll never be able to forgive myself for… things that if Nate knew, would break him into a million tiny, teensy little pieces." Will frowned, his forehead creasing into several deep lines.

"What the hell are you about?" He asked, pushing Emma onto the table, so she would stop and talk to him, instead of finding a distraction in the form of tidying. "Something happened at hospital didn't it? Something bad?"

"What's your definition of bad?" Emma asked shiftily, not even trying to resist Will's firm grip, knowing he was a lot stronger than her, and even accidentally, could hurt her a lot more than she new wise in her condition.

"Emz – you're scaring me. What the hells wrong with you?" Will asked, the worry and concern etched onto his face.

"Nothing… nothing. I'm fine… and so is your baby…" Emma whispered hoarsely; hardly able to believe the words as she spoke them. Emma watched the colour in Will's face drain away as the news sunk in. Emma could almost see the news sinking into Will's brain, for the grip he was exerting on her shoulders was getting tighter and tighter.

"My what?" Will echoed faintly.

"I'm carrying your baby Will." Emma repeated calmly. "It can't be Nate's – we didn't sleep together for a while before I found out…"

"Alright… enough info Em." Will groaned, pressed his hand over her mouth. Emma smiled and nodded.

"Sorry."

"When did you plan on telling me had I not pressed you about it now?" Will asked, not quite able to look Emma in the eyes, for he kept looking down at her still perfectly flat stomach, unable to believe that she was going to have his first baby, yet he wasn't going to be able to watch it grow up for it would undoubtedly be brought up as Nate's.

"I knew you would press me though!" Emma smiled. "You're that predictable – yes!" She continued, answering Will's next question. "Look – I'm really sorry that it's happened. But we should have been more careful. We shouldn't have even got together in the first place." She sighed.

"Don't apologize babe." Emma looked at Will sharply, the angry sparkle in her eyes telling him to take back what he had just called her. "I take it Nate knows." Emma nodded. "He thinks it's his?" Again Emma nodded. "You had no right – especially if you knew it was mine when you first found out you were pregnant." Will continued softly, his words soft, but angry.

"I know… don't lecture me Will. I'm sorry – if I could turn back time; then believe me I would. But I can't, and I have to live with the consequences – whether you are going to or not. This baby is going to have a loving family – if Nate and I bring it up thinking he's the dad, then so be it." Emma paused. "But it doesn't have to be like that. You could see it and weekends and stuff… and it could know you were the father…"

"I don't want anything to do with _it._" Will spat, almost spitefully. "I couldn't have this kid for maybe forty-eight hours a week and then give him – or her, back to you and Nate. One, it wouldn't be fair on the baby – and two, I just couldn't; _couldn't_, watch _him_ step into my shoes just seconds after I'd been looking after it. This way I can forget – attempt to forget…" Will corrected himself after Emma stared daggers into his eyes. "…That the child is mine."

"You couldn't ever forget Will." Emma persisted. "This child will be growing up a few streets away from you – not knowing it's real daddy. You can be there for him or her. You just have to say." Her eyes began to sparkle in the low light; as the words designed to guilt-trip Will, guilt tripped herself. "It might even look up to you as… a second father – or a big brother or something. How could you keep that façade up? How could you keep lying to it? How could you expect me to lie to it?"

"I'll move away then. I'll get a transfer." Will said simply. "You can forget about me; and I can forget about this… this little piece of life that's inside you…" Will looked away from Emma, before punching the breeze-blocked wall hard with his fist. Emma watched in horror as he re-coiled his hand in double-quick motion.

"Will!" Emma screamed, pulling him over to her and looking over his bleeding, and already swollen knuckles. "What the hell was the point of that?" She demanded, running her finger along the blood-ridden bone, pain shooting down her spine as she saw the agony in Will's eyes. "Can you move it?" She asked softly, placing her other hand against Will's cheek.

"It's fine Em… I've just bruised it or some-at." Emma raised her eyebrows and shook her head disbelievingly.

"You can't move it – can you?" Emma said, her eyes watching Will attempt in vain to unclench his knuckles. Will shook his head in defeat after several attempts. "You twit! You've probably broken your hand… which means… how many months of station confinement?" Will groaned deeply, trying to blink back the tears of pain he refused to let Emma see. "Look's like I'm needed in hospital for the second time today!" Emma smiled, gently pulling Will of the chair, leading him out of the Evidence Room.

"You don't have to come." Will said, suddenly stopping in the middle of the corridor, still clutching his right wrist in his left hand.

"But I want to. Let's face it – it's my fault you lost it." Emma replied, knocking on Gina's door.

"Come!" Gina shouted sharply. Emma opened the door, and walked in, before closing it after Will had walked in. "What can I do for you two?"

"Will had a… bit of an accident in the Evidence Room." Emma started, looking at Will meaningfully. "And I think he's broken his knuckle." Gina got up from behind her desk and walked over to Will, inspecting the damage. "It's really swollen – and he can't move it." Gina nodded.

"So I see." She murmured. "You better get that seen to Will. If you'd like to go down to St Hugh's with him Emma." Emma nodded. "I should think by the time you get seen to in A and E it'll be time to clock off so you can have the rest of the day off." Both and Emma and Will beamed at each other, and then at Gina. "You can go now." Gina nodded the pair towards the door, before gently pulling on Emma's sleeve. "What's the Evidence Room looking like?"

"… I… erm… better." Emma stuttered, her mind drawing blank as to how she could describe it. "I mean… there's still a few files about. But nothing like how many as there was this morning." Gina rolled her eyes.

"Riiiight… be off with you. You can finish it off tomorrow. It don't look like Will should be out of the station – and it's probably best if you stay cooped up in here too." Emma groaned and nodded, knowing better than to argue with Gina.

"Ma'am." Emma sighed, skulking from the office, before running to catch up with Will, who was already half way out of the station and in the yard.

"Look's like your driving Emma!" Will smiled, as he threw her his car keys with his 'good' hand.

"You owe me Will." Emma reprimanded, once they were both sat in the car; having forgotten about the cloud that hung over them.

"Big style!"

"Oh just get a move on!" Will fired back at her playfully. "I'm in a heck of a lot of pain here!" Emma grinned and nodded.

* * *

**_It's been ages since I've reviewed - I have no excuse, everyones reviewed... I just sorta... forgot. Sorry! I'll try and UD again mid week. If I don't then hopefully someone will kick me into gear! Hope you like the chapter, and thanks for reviewing - this is for you guys!_**

**_Em xxx_**


	8. Red Lights

_**Crushed**_

_**Chapter eight:- Red Lights on a Warning Sign**_

"I'll get the first round in!" Nate shouted, pulling his hand from around Emma's waist and trying to comprehend the orders being shouted in his direction from all over the pub. "Emz?" Emma shrugged, aware of Will hovering behind her.

"No alcohol Em." Will warned.

"Lemonade please babe." Emma smiled forcedly, handing Nate a twenty-pound note from her bag. Nate smiled and nodded, quickly pecking Emma's cheek. Will stood up, letting Emma pass and sit in between him and Sally.

"Why are you being so protective of me?" Emma demanded, purposefully turning away from Sally. "I can look after myself."

"It's not you I'm worried about darlin'." Will mused. "It's the baby." Emma rolled her eyes and sighed, smiling at Nate as he passed her a large glass of an icy clear liquid.

"Now that's either lemonade… which I hope after your hard work today, it isn't; or you've gone straight on t' the hard stuff." Stevie giggled, pausing slightly from her and Sam's conversation; eying up Emma's glass. Emma bit her lip, and looked down at her now slightly bulging stomach; which considering it had a three and a half month old child growing inside, was still fairly flat.

"Lemonade I'm afraid." Emma sighed, running her fingers along the condensation that had built up on the outside of the glass. Stevie groaned, and shook her head.

"You've worked so damn hard in CID today – you deserve something a little stronger more than all of us!" She smiled. Emma shrugged, trying to wrack her brains for somehow to change the conversation subject.

"…So what d'you think of Adam Greene?" Will asked from behind Emma; who turned in her seat, looking thankfully in Will's direction. "I personally can't believe he'd make up that – about his girlfriend of all people!"

"You'd have to be pretty insecure 'n jealous to accuse your girlfriend and form teacher of sleeping together." Stevie agreed, the whole table now stepping out of their individual conversations to join in. "But if it wasn't for Emma – then Greg Fullham would have been going down for sexual assault on a minor." Emma smiled proudly. "Just shows that it only takes five minutes reading through every piece of evidence again to pick up something that doesn't quite fit. However small and insignificant seeming – it can make the world of difference." Everyone nodded in agreement. "It looks like we've got a big 'thanks' to say…" Again everyone nodded, murmuring there thanks to Emma.

"Well done babe." Nate smiled, pulling Emma into him and kissing the crown of her head. Emma grinned, falling into Nate's embrace, vaguely aware of Will's eyes boring into her, a picture of jealousy flashing on his face like the red lights on a warning sign. "How you feeling?" He asked quietly, brushing Emma's hair to the side.

"Fine… a little tired." She admitted, trying to stifle a yawn.

"Ten hour shifts taking its toll?" Nate asked. Emma nodded, closing her eyes for a second, loving the relaxing feeling of the soft circles Nate was pressing on her hip. "Poor thing." Emma giggled.

"Yeah – poor thing!" She repeated smugly. "Can we tell everyone soon?" Emma asked, not for the first time that day. "Please sweetheart? I'm sick of like… having to keep it from people. I wanna be able to scream from the rooftops. But I can't." She sulked, crossing her arms, illuminating the soft roundness to her stomach.

"Sure… sure… in a second." Nate replied.

"What we waitin' for?" Emma pestered. "Why not… now?" She asked.

"Fine… fine." Nate smiled, rolling his eyes. "Erm… guys… Emma's got something to tell you…" Nate said loudly, lacing his hand through Emma's, and pulling it discreetly to her stomach. Everyone looked expectantly at Emma.

"I don't know why it's me that's got something to tell you." Emma smiled quietly, hating all the eyes that were staring intently at her. "But… err anyway, I'm… I'm three months pregnant." She sighed happily. Everyone gasped, apart from Sally and Will, who already knew.

"Ooh my God – that's why you aren't drinking!" Stevie gushed. "Duh! I should have known!"

"Congrats Nate!" Callum said, shaking Nate's hand. Emma shot a worried look at Will, who she could see wasn't impressed by Callum. "Betcha gonna be the right proud father!" Emma stood up quickly, making her excuses, before dashing towards the beer garden, closely followed by Will, who had decided he needed to shoot off; despite it only being 7.30.

"I dunno if I can take much of this honey." Will groaned.

"Well what do you wanna do about it?" Emma retaliated. "Last thing I heard you were disgusted at the idea of having a child to your name. What's changed?"

"Nothing." Will corrected himself quickly, colour flushing to his cheeks, even though it was late November. "It's just it's my baby. It should be me they are congratulating; me they are asking about the future – is it gonna be boy or girl – am I gonna take it out to play footie or whatever. Not fucking Nate."

"Calm down Will." Emma said forcefully. "Look, you said yourself you don't want anything to do with the baby so it should be immaterial whether it's you or Nate being congratulated and whatever else. Maybe if you'd wanted to be the one who was known to be the father, you should have thought about it more when I told you, you were the father. There's no going back now – I'm way to far gone - it would ruin Nate." Will sighed and rolled his eyes, before nodding. "You better go." She said, quickly kissing Will's cheek, a movement that sent shivers down her spine, and made butterflies churn her stomach over. "I'm sorry it has to be like this – but you had your chance…" Turning on her heel, Emma walked back into the pub, quickly taking a backwards glance, and seeing the broken shell of man she had left behind. 'It's for the best'. She told herself, before forcing a wide smile at the rest of the group who all saw her coming.

_Because I told you, you would look to regret it,  
and now I don't wanna make you feel bad,  
But when it comes to me just forget it,  
I'll be the best you never had,  
You put me through so many emotions,  
Now baby it's your turn for that,  
'cause in your empty heart I left a mark,  
The best you never had._

* * *

_Ooops I know I said I'd UD on Wednesday but... I forgot. Sorry! I'm not going to say anything about UDing against 'coz no doubt I'll end up breaking whatever I say. _

_Hope you like it - Em xxx_


	9. Last Day

_**Crushed**_

_**Chapter nine:- Last Day**_

Fast forward a few months, four to be exact, it's March 2009.

Emma rolled onto her back, opening her eyes to a searing stinging, which had undoubtedly been induced by lack of sleep. She pressed her hand against her stomach, feeling the faint kicking of the young life inside her – and for a second, harshly resenting it – for what had it brought her? Absolutely nothing - but morning sickness, an over protective husband and 'friend', sleepless nights and an alcohol ban. What a life she thought, closing her eyes again, trying to banish the tears that had collected in them.

Once again, the baby kicked against Emma's stomach, just as sleep began to overcome her body - like how waves rushed over sand, just in slow motion.

"Damn thing!" She cried to herself tiredly, tears slowly edging down her cheeks out of pure frustration, as she looked over at her husband, who was blissfully unaware of her late night encounters with their unborn baby. Or rather Will's unborn baby. Maybe it was best Nate didn't know, Emma thought to herself. "Please stop baby…" Emma whispered, rubbing her stomach. "Come on… I don't even know you and I can't stand the thought of meeting you. Just go to sleep… go to sleep at let mummy go to sleep too." She continued, aware of the tears falling into perfect circular marks on her sleep t-shirt. As if the child really could hear Emma, more over understand her; the kicking subsided. Emma smiled to herself. "Thank you…" She rolled back onto her side, not moving her hand from her stomach, and closed her eyes, letting the tears dry on her cheeks, creating thin pinkish red lines that snaked down her pretty face.

"Emma babe…" Nate whispered, taking hold of Emma's hand, and rubbing his fingers up and down it gently. Emma stirred, fluttering her eyes open, still red and slightly bloodshot from crying so hard, and being so tired. "You've got to be at work in a while." Emma nodded, closing her eyes again. "It's your last day… come on sweetheart… just one more day." Nate smiled encouragingly just as he had done for the past few days. It seemed she was getting more and more tired and more and more hard to wake up in the mornings for work.

"I don't feel too good." Emma sighed, slowly sitting up.

"Maybe you should have today off. I'm sure the Super'll understand." Nate suggested after kissing Emma's lips.

"Na… like you say – it's my last day before I'm off for four months. I'm only on Front Desk." Emma rubbed her eyes hard, trying to rid them of the heavy achy pain she had grown so accustomed to.

"Are you ok?" Nate asked worriedly, pulling down Emma's hands from her face, before inspecting her visage carefully. "You look like you've been crying." He stated, resting his hands on her cheeks, masking the red and white lines that streaked her cheeks.

"Yes… It's nothing." Emma lied, trying to stifle a yawn. "Just not been sleeping to well. The baby seems to insist on being up when I'm not." She grimaced as yet again another excruciating pain surfaced from her tummy. "God I swear this thing can hear me." She moaned. "I don't think it likes being talked about negatively." For the second time that morning, the baby thumped Emma's stomach, this time making her double over in pain, and force tears to her eyes.

"You better watch it missus!" Nate grinned, rolling his eyes. "This little one has one hell'uva temper." Emma nodded.

"You're telling me!" She groaned, wiping her eyes, and pulling her body up from the bed before grabbing her towel from the radiator. Nate watched Emma waddle from the bedroom, a proud aura radiating from him even though no one was around. Emma slipped out of her pyjamas once she was in the confines of the bathroom, and looked down at her stomach; feeling repulsed at the sight of herself in the mirror opposite. Sighing, Emma stepped into the shower, watching the water cascade from her, and twisting and turning down the plughole, as if it was taking all of her cares with it.

"You ok honey?" Nate called from behind the bathroom door. "You've been ages…" Emma took this as a not so subtle hint that she was taking too long, so turned the shower off, and wrapped the thick towel around her.

"I'm fine…" Emma smiled, as she opened the bathroom door, half of the pearly white mist escaping the four walls with her. "Just thinking… sorry."

"Ok." Nate replied, happy with the answer. He kissed her cheek. "I'll give you a lift down to the station if you want." Emma nodded thankfully, the dull and gloomy spring sky catching her eye. "I'll be ready in… ten minutes."

Ten minutes later, Emma was trying to pull on her trainers over her bulging stomach that protruded from her baggy, elastic waisted jeans and t-shirt. Nate passed Emma her coat, and she gratefully pulled in around her frame, glad of the thick piece of material she could hide behind.

"And I thought being pregnant was something to be proud of!" Smithy called as he poked his head around the door of the informal interview room. Emma smiled shyly, pulling a stray strand of hair behind her ear, not able to lift her eyes from the floor. "It's your last day today init?" He asked. Emma nodded. "Not much longer to go then…"

"Thank God." She muttered mutinously, not quite loud enough for anyone to hear. "See you in a bit Smithy." She smiled, still not catching his eye, before she walked off towards the female locker rooms, hoping they would be deserted so she could change in private. Emma opened the door, quietly stepping into the pale pink room and making her way over to her locker, before quickly peeling her t-shirt over her head and replacing it with a baggy white shirt that swamped her figure and hung around her knees loosely.

"Emmy!" Beth squealed, running over to Emma and wrapping her arms tightly around her neck like an excitable school child that had missed her mother during the day. Emma smiled, and hugged Beth back as best she could. "How are you then?"

"Coping…" She smiled, rubbing her neck; as yet another ache creaked from nowhere. "The nights seem longer than ever – and the days even longer than that." Beth frowned. "Trust me – you'll understand when you're seven months pregnant." Beth grinned and nodded, before bouncing off to her own locker, still chatting animatedly, however most, if not all, of her words seemed to bounce right off Emma's head without really registering.

"Emma?" Beth asked once again, after she hadn't answered her question. "Are you sure you're OK? Yano you can tell me anyfing." Emma nodded, shaking her head out of a trance.

"Yeah, yeah – I know." Emma echoed faintly, turning to face her locker, and removing her jeans, making sure her shirt still covered her stomach as she pulled on her special sized uniform trousers. "See you later…" She smiled, before breezing out of the locker rooms, not so much with breeze but more storm.

"Ok… and last but not least, as I'm sure you are all aware, it's PC Keane's last day today for she's off on maternity leave until late July." Gina looked at Emma, and everyone followed suit. "So I'm sure I'm not alone in saying, good luck with the baby, and hope everything goes really, really well." Emma smiled and nodded in way of thanks.

"Thanks." She breathed, looking around her colleagues, catching Will's eye and biting her lip, before turning away her heart pounding in her stomach as she realized what she meant by 'hope everything goes well' was totally different to what Gina had meant.

"Ok… one last thing before you go – I'd like to introduce to you all PC Zoë Jenkins who will be covering for Emma while she is off." A few of the guys nudged whoever was next to them, murmuring their thoughts on the young petite red head. "Sally, Beth, I'd like you to stay with her. Show her the ranks an so on. You can go." Everyone stood up, the scuffling of the chairs drowning out everyone's voices.

"Can I have a word please Em?" Will asked, or more told, as he pulled Emma to the side by her shirtsleeve. Emma followed Will to main reception. "Can you be careful please Emma? Just… today's your last day – and you've been really careful up until now… something could still go wrong if you ain't careful…"

"I know Will!" Emma said sharply. "Just because I'm pregnant, and fat, and ugly… and…" Emma broke down into tears, falling against Will's chest for support.

"Hey… hey – calm down." Will soothed, rubbing Emma's back. "What's happened… what's brought this on?"

"I'm sick of the whole… I don't wanna be pregnant anymore. I wanna just… forget about the kid." Emma breathed. "I wanna get rid of it – I don' want it no more." She spat, getting visibly angrier by the second. "I feel fat…"

"You're pregnant." Will said simply.

"I feel ugly… I feel useless. And I hate it!" Emma continued. "I want to be the old me who could go out and get pissed when I wanted to – who could do what she wanted when she wanted. I don't want to be tired down by marriage any more. I'm sick of the whole thing!" Will didn't say anything, knowing that he had brought on this whole saga with Emma because it was his baby – therefore his fault she was pregnant.

"I'm sorry Emz…" He sighed quietly, pushing Emma away from him as if he was scared he would hurt her more than he already had. "Good luck with everything…" Will pushed open the door to the main station after punching in the ID code, trying not to look back at Emma, who he knew, from the soft sobs he could hear fading behind him, was completely confused and totally broken.

Emma watched as a blur of brown, blonde and auburn swished before her. She heard Sally say something and then a chorus of laughter and giggling, before she then realized the third head she didn't quite recognise was the new PC. Great, she thought, I'm being replaced and forgotten already – and I'm not even shot of this place. They ain't gonna want to know me any more. I'm going to become a boring mum who can't go out on a Friday evening 'coz I'll be stuck with some little sprog.

Emma tried to focus her eyes, brushing them roughly, trying to compose herself ready to be faced by the public. Some last day this was going to turn out to be.

* * *

**_Thanks to everyone who reviewed chapter 8... I'm not going to say anything but OMFG! It's so unfair... Jilly, you'll get me - it's all we've been going on about since we found out for definite._**

**_No promises last time I UD'd, and I got something up quicker - maybe that's the way to go? I'm not going to be home at the weekend so you might get an UD on Friday, otherwise it's Monday me thinks. Maybe Sunday, but I doubt it. _**

**_Please hit the little blue button - it means tonnes! Em xxx_**


	10. Hell on Earth

_**Crushed**_

_**Chapter ten:- Hell on Earth**_

"How ya feelin' sweetheart?" Nate asked softly, resting his hand over Emma's as he gently kissed her forehead.

"Good thank you." She replied sweetly. Nate smiled; pleased for once he wasn't getting tales of the sleepless night she had had to put up with. Producing a tray from behind his back, he laid it on the duvet next to Emma. Emma's eyes caught the delicate white rose lying on the tray next to a plate of toast. She smiled at Nate and kissed him – possible for the first time in months forgetting about Will.

"I couldn't find a red one…" He laughed, handing Emma the rose, and watching her flick it between her fingers, before placing it in her glass of water on the bedside cabinet.

"Thank you – it's so sweet…" Emma sighed, looking at Nate who was already dressed in his favourite jeans and a plain green top. "You're working today aren't you?" She asked sadly.

"Yeah – 9 'till 3. S'not to bad. I'll be home before you know I've gone." Nate responded supportively.

"But it's so boring." Emma groaned, her eyes wide. "It's like… every day I've got this routine. I wake up – have breakfast, have a shower, then go and die in front of the tele until I get bored and decide I want some lunch. Then it's back to the TV 'till you get home."

"Why don't you go shopping today then?" Nate suggested. "You could get some bits for the baby."

"Would you not wanna be part of that?" Emma asked quietly. He shook his head.

"You're the one who's cooped up in here all day – I think you deserve it." Emma beamed at the idea. "Give Sal or someone a call…"

"Maybe…" Emma said dreamily, thinking of all the cute little 'Next' outfits she could clad the baby out in when it was born. She had spent hours flicking through the directory, circling cream baby grows, little t-shirts with giraffes on and teensy socks. "Hadn't you better be off?" Emma asked, shaking her head, waking herself from the trance she had placed herself in. Nate looked at the clock, his eyes widening in panic as the numbers registered.

"Shit…" He said, jumping off the bed, quickly kissing Emma's cheek, and then her belly. "See ya later darlin'." He smiled, with a quick backwards glance as he ran out of the bedroom, jumping the stairs two at a time. Emma tore at the cold toast, the butter melting in her mouth as she chewed the cardboard like substance. She fumbled for the remote somewhere under her pillow from the night before – flicking the TV on, she scrolled through the channels, slumping for GMTV seeing nothing else was on.

"Yet another body has been discovered in the London district of Canley over night. This follows in along line discoveries made by various members of the public over the past two weeks. Detective Inspector Samantha Nixon of Sun Hill gave a statement earlier at the scene of the crime…" The screen flashed to a fairly dark street swarming with officers Emma knew only to well, before the camera rotated to Sam.

"Once again, it is a blonde young girl who have been attacked; she is believed to attend the same college as the three previous victims; but hold no further links. It is not yet clear what time she was murdered, or how, but I can assure you that our officers are taking the utmost care whilst combing the area. It is critical that members of the public come forward with any information – no matter how small and insignificant it may seem. Please call the crime stoppers number with your information. For legal reasons we can not disclose any personal information at this time in our inquest, but the victims family have been informed and are currently with our experienced family liaison officer. I would be grateful if you would allow my officers to continue the investigation without continued harassment now, when we find any critical information, you will all be the first to hear… thank you." Sam turned away from the camera, ignoring the many questions that followed, be shouted from all directions. The video cut to slideshow of various pictures of the crime scene at various times of the night, the crime stoppers number flashing at the bottom of the screen.

Emma was aware that the newsreader was back on the screen, but she was to absorbed in her own thoughts to hear what else was being said. 'Trust the station to be quiet for months on end before I go onto maternity leave – then the day after I go, literally – they get a murder investigation; then just days later, a second body, then third – and now a fourth.' Emma shook her head, taking a sip from her mug of tea.

"Hello?" Emma said into her phone, not looking at the caller ID as she shook her head, trying to rid it of her own little random thought trails.

"Hey babe." Will said happily.

"I take it you haven't been called into work?" Emma asked. "I saw the news coverage on the latest girl." Will grunted – Emma could tell it was sore subject. "That bad is it?"

"Yep – we've got like four families all wantin' to know why we ain't arrested someone and asking when can the bodies be buried. It's like hell on earth – you should be glad you're at home. It's driving everyone down the station nuts. Sam and the DCI 'ave been working like full on twenty four hour shifts just to keep things movin'."

"Ouch!" I mutter, still wishing I was in on the action. "So why 'ain't' anyone been arrested?" Emma said mimicking Will's cockney dialect.

"'Coz our murderer is too bloody clever. He knows what he's doing alright." Will sighed. "We've carried out post mortems and everything – door to doors, interviews of students at the college, we've even watched CCTV around a five mile radius. It's crazy what the Super is getting us to do. It's not getting' us anywhere either."

"So you're needing a good ol' day out?" Emma asked hopefully, getting out of bed, rubbing the side of her bump with her free hand.

"Yes!" Will jumps at the chance enthusiastically.

"Well I was thinking about going into town and getting some bits for the baby. I dunno if you wanna come or not – if you don't then we can just go out for coffee or something."

"I'll pick you up at ten and we can go shopping. I know I can't do everything for the baby – but I'd love to do that." Will said meaningfully. Emma rubbed her eyes, the feeling Will was emitting down the phone making her wish beyond anything in the world, that it wouldn't be Nate coming home to her that evening, but Will.

"Ok – see you then…" Emma replied, just able to keep her voice level as she finished the call, and pulled her grey wrap around jumper from her wardrobe, before tugging at her jeans, but no matter how hard she pulled, they just wouldn't budge. "Bloody elastic." She mumbled, unclipping them from the hanger and flicking the elasticised waist so the jeans went flying through the air, landing on the other side of her bed. She giggled to herself, sure if she hadn't been pregnant, she wouldn't have found it quite so funny. She still hadn't quite got used to the strange things you felt whilst your hormones were all over the place twenty-four/seven. After pulling on her clothes, she scraped her hair from her face and tied it up at the back of her head with a black lily tie, framing her face with her fringe. She knew she didn't look great, and normally, when she was going out with Will, she'd make an effort; but right now, all hope was quickly fading from Emma as it became more and more likely that if she didn't do anything (which she wouldn't) then she was going to be allowing Nate to bring up Will's child. How unfair was that? She thought things were going to be tough on her – but that's nothing to what Will would feel and she knew it.


	11. Happy Families

_**Crushed**_

_**Chapter eleven:- Happy Families**_

Emma crossed off the date on her calendar with a broad red marker. She knew today marked the eight-month mark – and boy that lifted her spirits.

"I'm going to meet Will for coffee today." Emma said to Nate, between mouthfuls of piping hot, buttered toast. Nate looked at Emma, freezing to the spot, his heart rate quickening. He knew Emma and Will went out together a lot, but he never got to here about it before the event – only after.

"Cool…" He said, rather quietly.

"That is ok isn't it?" Emma asked. Nate nodded over enthusiastically, smiling wildly.

"Sure it is." He said quickly. He remembered back a few weeks or so to when Emma had shown him some of the outfits she had picked out for the baby whilst shopping. What she later told him was that Will had helped her. Had it been Sally, Beth or even Ben helping, Nate knew he would have been fine with it. But it wasn't – and he knew Emma would hate him for feeling quite so jealous, quite so insecure, but he couldn't help it. There was always something that stuck firmly in his mind with Emma and Will – and that was the wedding. Why had Emma followed him from the church looking quite so panic stricken? Why did it matter that Will had fled from the church after he and Emma had finished their vows?

"Good." Emma smiled, getting up, before dropping her crumb-encrusted plate into the bubbly water, before leaning over to Nate and kissing his cheek gently. Nate pressed his hand against Emma's stomach, and pulled her into him, as best he could, without causing her any pain.

"You will take it easy won't you?" He asked worried. Emma rolled her eyes and nodded.

"I don't have the energy to take it any other way." She grinned, kissing Nate again before trudging off down the hallway.

Thirty minutes later, Emma was wrapped in her towel, her hair dripping down her shoulders and onto the carpet as she riffled through her wardrobe, looking for something to wear when Nate walked in.

"I'm off now." He said gently, trying to keep his eyes directed at Emma's face, not her towel that seemed to be slipping lower and lower over her chest.

"Love you…" Emma smiled, holding onto the towel where the corners met, just for good measure knowing where Nate was looking.

"Mmm…" Nate said dozily. "Love ya too honey." He pressed his hand against his lips, and then against Emma's stomach. She swallowed hard – if only he knew. "Call me if anything happens." Emma nodded obediently.

"I'm still way off – I'm good for the next few weeks. At least." She reassured him, almost certain that she would be fine for the next few weeks, even if she didn't want to be.

"You never know." Nate glanced at the clock and then back at Emma. "I'm so dead…" He grinned, racing to the bedroom door, and then jumping the stairs two at a time. Emma rolled her eyes and turned back to the wardrobe, pulling out her favourite jeans and a low cut, loose black smock top. She finished the outfit with a silver pendant, and matching silver earrings and some knee length black leather boots. Emma looked at herself in the wardrobe mirror; her face was porcelain white and her blonde-brown hair was slackly curled. She looked and felt the best she had done in a while – maybe it was just the prospect of seeing Will again?

"Hey!" Emma smiled widely as Will opened the door to his flat. Will smiled back and pulled her into hug.

"How are you?" He asked, looking her up and down – she looked sophisticated and… glowing.

"Great!" She beamed, following Will into the lounge and flopping into the leather sofas embrace. "A little heavy and stuff – but it's all good." Will nodded, and sat down next to her, folding his leg under the other and facing Emma; still examining her critically. "What?" Emma asked uncertainly. She frowned, looking around, before feeling around her face – did she have something there?

"Nothing!" Will replied, taking Emma's hand from her face and dropping it to her lap. "You look… gorgeous…" Will blushed at the forwardness of his own statement. "I mean… God – I mean you look really well." He corrected himself. Emma giggled softly and nodded.

"You can say that I look nice yano." She said.

"But you're Nate's. He'd kill me." Will concluded bluntly. Emma shrugged – so what?

"And correction – I'm not Nate's." Emma said, almost sternly, a steely glint in her eyes. "So are you going to offer me a drink?" She asked cheekily. Will jumped off the sofa.

"I'm so sorry – so rude." He scolded himself. Emma shook her head and pulled herself off the chair, following Will into the kitchen, watching him potter about; filling the kettle, fetching cups.

"You'd make such a good father…" Emma said silently. Will turned on the spot, looking at Emma, certain he'd not heard Emma right.

"What?" He almost shouted, unable to keep the words in any longer. Emma crashed her hand over her mouth, a crimson blush creeping up her neck.

"I just said that you – you're a right little old lady with your cups of tea… and all that…" Emma trailed off, trying to laugh off her little comment. Will knew that Emma hadn't said anything like that – he knew exactly what she had said.

"Sure you did." Will sighed, facing away from Emma and looking longingly out of the window. "I wanna see the kid." He said suddenly, breaking the already tense silence that hung between the pair. Emma looked up from the floor and at Will.

"You what?" She said faintly.

"I said I want to see the baby." He repeated coolly, looking at Emma.

"But… but you can't." Emma stuttered quietly. "You just… can't."

"But that's exactly it Emz – I can. And I will." Will said, bringing tears to Emma's eyes as she realized pretty soon her perfect life was about to fall apart around her.

"You can see it – fine, I know I can't stop you. But it has to be under the pretences that you are baby sitting – or that we are meeting up just because. Nate can't find out." Emma said shakily, tears trickling out of her eyes. Will sighed – he didn't know if he could do that – have the baby for a few hours and then have Emma and Nate waltz out of his life playing happy families with his child.

"He's gonna find out at some point." Will warned. "What happens if the baby has grey eyes – both you and Nate have blue… what happens if the baby has brown hair?" Emma bit her lip – she hadn't thought about any of that.

"I had brown hair when I was a child." She said feebly, knowing it was nothing to stand on. Will took his mug and sat down on the sofa, leaving Emma in the kitchen alone with her thoughts. "Why do you want to see the baby now? Just a few months ago – you didn't wanna know." Emma asked, walking into the lounge, and leaning against the wall.

"I've seen you through every stage of the pregnancy, knowing that it's my baby growing in there. I can't turn by back on it – not anymore." Will said. Emma sighed deeply – he never failed to say something so romantically – so poetically when he wanted something.

"I'm sorry…" Emma mumbled quietly, sitting down next to Will, not relaxing into the sofa, but holding onto Will's hands tightly. "It's all my fault… I shouldn't have – I just shouldn't have done anything…" Emma paused, a sharp pain shooting through her. "Jesus…" She whispered, taking her hand from Will's and resting it on her stomach.

"Emz…" Will said looking at Emma's face – she had gone paler than he thought possible, and her forehead was lined with a slightly damp sheen.

Once again, Emma clutched her hand to her stomach, squeezing at the skin leaving red-black nail marks imprinted deeply. Everything around her faded away, and the only thing Emma was concentrating on was herself and the wretched pains shooting through her like comets bursting through the sky – she didn't even realize Will was gripping onto to her shoulders.

"Emz…" Will echoed again, using one arm to grab at the phone sitting on the coffee table. He hurriedly pressed the nine button three times. "Ambulance please…"


	12. Shattered Illusions

_**Crushed**_

_**Chapter twelve:- Shattered Illusions**_

"Is there anyone you'd like us to call for you Mrs Roberts?" The young brunette nurse asked Emma, after she'd finally been able to stop her squirming in pain. Emma glanced at Will and sighed – no – there wasn't.

"Yeah – yes. My husband. He works at Sun Hill station." Emma said quietly, not looking at Will, but in the exact opposite direction, out of the window and over the many tall buildings the lined the streets of London. "Nate Roberts…" Emma watched the nurse walk from her room, a few stray strands of her hair following behind her. "He's going to find out one way or another…" Emma explained quickly, answering Will's unsaid question. "I can't keep it from him. You never know, with any luck – shit…" Emma trailed off – even the morphine wasn't enough to lighten the short, sharp twinges of pain the contractions sent flowing through her body every so often. "With any luck they'll be snowed under with this murder case and Nate won't be able to leave." Emma continued after regaining composure. Will snorted.

"Like that's going to stop him coming over. You're his wife Emma." He said. "You're having his first child." He finished dejectedly, moving towards the door, not wanting Emma see that he was so affected by the whole thing. Emma panicked – she didn't want to be alone.

"Don't go…" But it was too late; Will was already out of the room. Emma saw him walk across the window, his shoulders slumped and his head hung to the floor. Emma turned on her side, facing the window, watching the occasional bird flutter past, and then a newspaper or plastic bag shattering the illusion of blissful countryside that Emma seemed to keep dreaming up. Maybe it was the drugs.

"I got through to the station – they seemed pretty busy. I heard about the murders…" Emma couldn't help but blank out the nurse's dull voice. The room around Emma blurred, until she heard the nurse click off her drab speech something to do with Sun Hill. "Has the young man you were with left?" She asked kindly. Emma felt something, or someone sit on the edge of the bed. Emma nodded; moving her head so her cheeks weren't resting in the damp salty patch her tears had forged. "Is he your brother?" She couldn't help but giggle. She sat up on her bed, tugging the thin and moth eaten covers around her neck.

"Hell no!" She smiled. "He's… he's just a friend." Emma said quietly, the words killing off any feeling she had left unscathed from the morphine. The nurse raised her eyebrows disbelievingly.

"Sure he is babes." She smiled knowingly. "Right let me see… your carrying his baby… but your husband doesn't know. He wants to see the baby but you don't know how that can happen without Nate? Is that his name?" Emma nodded. "Right… without Nate finding out the truth. And if Nate finds out the truth…"

"We're over…" Emma finished off dramatically.

"What do you wanna happen?" Emma looked at the nurse – no one had ever asked her what she wanted until now.

"I dunno… I mean Will's… special. When I'm around him I feel on top of the world. Don't get me wrong I do love Nate – I feel safe when I'm with him. I know no one can touch me 'coz he wouldn't let 'em." Emma wasn't quite sure where she was going, but she was certain the young girl would have problems of her own to think about, without Emma burdening hers on to her as well. "Oh – God." She smiled. "I'm so sorry – you really don't wanna know do you?"

"Go on – you sounded like you were getting somewhere." The nurse said sympathetically with a maturity Emma expected in nurses a lot older than the one sat before her.

"Nate's looked after me… amazingly recently. He's been everything I dreamed of when I thought about my idea man and all that…" Emma blushed.

"So I'm not the only one who dreams about my partner?" Emma giggled – this girl seemed to know all the right things to say.

"I guess not – but Will… he's everything – and more. He's like, almost the guy you read about it fairy tales. But then realize there aren't guys like that in the world no more. He's the perfect guy you get in the films who comes in, taking everyone by storm – he's the guy every girl wants – but he doesn't want every girl – he wants me. The shy quiet one… not the prettiest – not the slimmest." Emma dreamed light-headedly. "He could have every girl down the station…"

"You're all police officers?" Emma blushed and nodded – that little fact about her seemed to make most people think she was some super human that would grass on the tiniest of things. Nobody seemed to be interested once they knew that – but the girl still looked interested.

"I don't get it." Emma sighed. "Why doesn't he want Sally – or Beth… they work down the station…" Emma said quickly. "He could have either of them easy."

"You know what I'm thinking?" Emma shook her head.

"Crap… crap… crap…" Emma's hand shot to her stomach robotically.

"Kirsty!" The nurse shouted, jumping off the bed, and sticking her head out of the door, just catching the doctor before she turned the corner into another ward. Will watched as a middle-aged woman shot down the corridor. He pressed his head to the door, watching a black blind be pulled down over his face.

"Will…" Emma breathed. Kirsty looked at the nurse.

"Ellie?" Kirsty asked questioningly, knowing she'd been in with Emma for sometime.

"Will's outside. Can he come in?" Emma looked up at Ellie, tears in her eyes. Ellie looked at Kirsty, and Emma followed suit. Kirsty nodded, and Ellie darted to the door.

"Someone's asking after you Will…" She said after opening the door. Will beamed and ran to Emma pulling her hand to his lips and pressing them softly against them. Emma smiled, the smile soon turning into a look of agony as she involuntarily squeezing on Will's hand as yet another contraction ripped through her body.

"Ok Emma…" Kirsty gently pushed Emma's stomach in, although to Emma it felt more like a knife being shoved deep into her body. She screamed in pain. "Sorry – but it doesn't look like the baby is quite ready to make it's appearance just yet honey…" Emma groaned deeply, sweat pouring down her forehead in little beads. Will bit his lip, not sure what to do or say. "When did she last have morphine?" Kirsty asked urgently. Ellie scrambled at the bottom of the bed producing a green file.

"About an hour ago… 500 milligrams. It's way to soon." Ellie looked at Emma, her eyes shiny, like they had zoned out of the room she was lying in.

"We'll have to induce her." Kirsty sighed, taking a look at Emma and shaking her head. It was quite obvious that labour didn't agree with her. Will looked between the three girls before him.

"It means we have to give Emma a drug which just quickens up the whole process." Ellie explained quickly, shuffling around in a cabinet she had just unlocked until she produced a syringe filled with a pearly liquid.

"Will it hurt her?" Will asked worriedly. Ellie shook her head defiantly, before plunging the thin metal edge into Emma's arm, the medicine slowly draining into Emma. Her eyes flickered and she became paler. "Is that s'posed to happen?" Will asked, continuing his bombardment of questions.

"Stop panicking sir, Emma and the baby are fine." Kirsty smiled, placing her hand quickly over Will's in way of reassurance. "Okay Emma, I need you to push after three contractions. Tell me when you get one, and then two and then tell me when you have the third one – just so Ellie and I know…" Emma nodded, crying in pain after just a few seconds.

"One…" She breathed out, looking quickly at Will's white fingers. She didn't care – he deserved it for putting her in this pain.

"Good girl…" Kirsty smiled, holding Emma's other hand, whilst Ellie ran in and out of the room, each time bringing back various items.

"Two…" Will laughed, after wriggling his fingers around slightly, just to check they were still there from Emma's latest grip. Emma scowled at him, as he wiped her forehead with the sleeve of his jumper.

"Three!" Emma groaned, the pain so deep, her whole body twanged violently, twisting Will's arm around. Kirsty and Ellie both moved so they were standing at the edge of the bed, watching Emma's stomach carefully.

"Just one more Emma…" Ellie said soothingly, watching as Will lovingly stroked a stray hair off Emma's face.

"Now!" Kirsty said suddenly, after the muscles in Emma's stomach visibly tensed, making her skin turn whiter than white. "Good girl sweetie… come on – almost there…"

"It hurts Will…" Emma cried into the sheets. Ellie watched closely as Will bent down to Emma's level, running his hand back and forth over her cheek and he whispered words of encouragement into her ear.

"You're doing really well babe… come on sweetheart…" He said softly, Ellie and Kirsty could only just hear, but they both looked at each other and smiled, only Ellie knowing that Will wasn't actually Emma's partner.

"Emma!" Ellie cooed, after Emma's had squealed in pain for one final time. "Do you wanna do the honours?" She asked looking at Will holding a pair of scissors in her hand. He looked at Emma and shook his head.

"It's not my place." He said, although it killed him to do so. Ellie looked at Emma, who was still catching her breath, unable to believe the empty feeling inside her.

"Go on babe… I want you too." She smiled, touching Will's arm. He looked at Emma, stunned at what she had said.

"You sure?" He said, before he took the scissors from Ellie.

"I've never been more sure about anything…" She grinned. Will smiled, looking down at the tiny form of life in screaming before him.

"I wonder where she's got them lungs from?" Will smiled, looking accusingly at Emma. Emma giggled and looked around innocently, before catching what Will said.

"She?" Ellie, Kirsty and Will nodded. "Oh my God! We've got a little baby girl Will!" Emma laughed, her hand over her mouth, unable to control her excitement.

Everybody turned on the spot, looking at the door, a male receptionist quickly poking his head around smiling and Emma and Will, who had the little bundle in his arms before he waved his arm and a flash of dirty blonde strutted into the room, his wide grin quickly dripping off his face as he followed the high pitched cries to Will's arms.

"Emma…" He didn't know what to say. Emma had often surprised him, but this afternoon, words failed him. "I… oh-my-God…"

* * *

For Hollie and Jilly - LYL girlies!

Thanks to everyone for reviewing last chapter, it starts to get a little more interesting from here on in :D


	13. Storybook

_**Crushed**_

_**Chapter thirteen:- Storybook**_

"It's… it's a girl…" Emma stammered nervously, not quite looking at Nate, but the harsh white light above his head. Nate shifted in his black work boots, looking at Will, and then Emma.

"I… see…" He replied frowning. He wasn't sure how he should feel, but it definitely wasn't how he did feel – confused, betrayed… even angry.

"Do… do you want to hold her?" Will asked, unsure of what to say, knowing Nate had caught him and Emma out. How bad must it have looked walking in to see your best friend holding 'your' baby before you'd so much as laid eyes on it.

"You say it like she's going to be rented out to me." Nate scoffed, looking at Emma carefully, her exhausted face not giving anything away like he had hoped. "I'm going to get a drink." He sighed, after silence had descended upon the three of them with Ellie and Kirsty watching over them like hawks.

"We'll be outside if you need us." Ellie smiled sensitively, trying to sent signals to Kirsty, before giving up and walking out of the room, with Kirsty eventually catching on and bolting from the room.

Will walked over to Nate and tried to hand him the baby, before he ran from the room, slamming the door behind him.

"That went… well…" Emma groaned, taking a white blanket from the clear plastic crib beside her as Will handed her the baby. Emma wrapped the tiny form of life in the sheets, and held her close to her still bloated stomach. Will sat in the plastic chair next to Emma, his cheeks glowing as he watched 'his girls' together.

"How you feelin' babe?" He asked, his hand resting on Emma's gown, over her thigh. Emma shrugged, her ice blue eyes turning into swirling pools of salty tears as she looked into the baby's eyes. She had her eyes – cool blue with swirls of silver entwined deeply into them but very definitely had Will's nose – and lips come to think of it.

"Tired… confused." Emma sighed.

"You don't have to make any decisions until you've sorted yourself out you know… I mean I know I wanna see her and stuff… but I can wait until things with you and Nate have calmed down." Will said kindly, meaning every work although it broke his heart to speak them. Emma tore her eyes away from her daughter.

"Things won't ever calm down between us Will – he's knows and we know it." Emma ran her hand down Will's cheek, his breath tickling the palm of her hand. "I want you to help me name her. Nate and I… we can't carry on living a lie. Not now I've got her…" Emma glanced at the baby, who was gurgling in her arms. Will stopped breathing – thinking his brain was playing insanely harsh games on him.

"You… what?" Will echoed faintly.

"Name her… come on Will – I've played enough games with you. I want it to be your name on her birth certificate… I want it to be your address we put on the forms." Emma said sincerely. Will took Emma's hand in his and looked at the tiny baby. He shuffled the seat towards Emma.

"I had no idea you'd ask me… I mean… I wasn't expecting it… at all…" He said, his mouth running at one hundred miles an hour. Emma pressed her finger against his lips after uncoiling it from his hand.

"Shh…" She giggled. "So go on…"

"My sister… my sister was called Louise…" Will started quietly, picking a vomit green thread on the bed. "If you don't mind… well… could her middle name be that…" He asked uncertainly. Emma beamed and nodded.

"Course it can sweetie – it can be her first name if you like…" Emma suggested. Will shook his head quickly, a horrified look etched to his forehead and eyes. "Sure…" She said understandingly. "I always liked Chloe… how about Chloe Louise Fletcher…" Emma smiled, amazed at how effortlessly the words – names rolled of her tongue. Will beamed, pressing his lips to Chloe's forehead and then to Emma's lips, before he remembered where he was, and blushed a deep crimson pink.

"Sorry…" He mumbled, looking to the door to hide his face. "Hang on… you said Fletcher…" Will said suddenly, turning back to Emma, his eyes wide. Emma nodded. "Not Chloe Louise Keane?" He asked. Emma shook her head, careful not to rock Chloe.

"Chloe Louise Fletcher." Emma repeated. "I want her to have your name… if that's ok of course…" Emma stopped mid sentence, hearing the door click closed behind her. She looked over Will's head, any colour she had in her cheeks, draining right out of them. "Nate…" Nate looked down at Emma and Will, her hands laced into his, Will looked lovingly at the glowing baby wrapped in white towelling. Will unlinked his hand from Emma's and jumped off the chair.

Nate looked around the room – the walls and furniture seemed to blend backwards as if into a page of a storybook. Emma clutching the baby, and Will jumping off the chair, both with equal amounts of guilt scratched into their faces, took his attention. The couple seemed to jump out of the page in 3D and he was just 'there' there wasn't anything he could do about it. He couldn't turn back time, and he couldn't change his fate.

"Fletcher?" Nate said frowning dumbly, all though, deep down the evidence was staring at him. "Chloe Louise Fletcher huh?" Emma nodded, tears pricking her eyes.

"I'm sorry Nate… but… I can't do this anymore…" She cried. Will took the baby from Emma as he saw her body start to shake. He gently rocked her in his arms letting her grasp his finger in her miniature hand. "She's not yours… she's Will's…"

"I know…" Emma looked at Nate, shock apparent over every centimetre on her face. "The dates didn't add up – I'm not stupid…" Emma sighed – so he had noticed.

"I didn't come home on our anniversary… because I was with Will." Emma explained. Nate sighed – he knew the truth, but it hurt more it coming from Emma.

"I know… I know all of it Emma… why didn't you tell me?" He asked. Will was shocked to see his 'best mate' crack on front of him. He'd never seen Nate crumble – he'd never seen any trace of emotion latched onto him. Nate was always just Nate. But he wasn't any more. Tears were slowly rolling down his cheeks and only the white cotton collar of his work shirt.

"I knew it would hurt you… I thought I could live knowing that the baby wasn't yours… that it was Will's. But it's not fair on anyone – especially Chloe." Emma said innocently.

"So just because you make one moral decision, it makes you Mother fucking Theresa does it?" Nate spat, leering at Emma, the emotion that had once been sadness, turning to anger. "You decide to mess up your marriage – not just on any night – but our first anniversary – and then come back too me, let me look after you. Let me listen to you moaning on about your fucking stretch marks, about the bloody morning sickness and about how it was unfair that you had to stay at home whilst I went to work to pick up the mess caused by some psycho murderer." Will stood helplessly to the side of Emma and Nate, who was lunging over Emma. "Some life Emma – some bloody life." He said, thumping the wall behind Emma causing Emma and Will to wince.

"You should go Nate…" Will suggested. Nate turned to Will, his face reddening.

"Don't tell me what to do." He warned, deciding not taking a step closer because of the tiny baby lying helpless in Will's arms. He didn't know why, but he knew he'd never be able to live down hurting Chloe. He wasn't her father, but the last eight months had brought out another side in him. He looked Will up and down; he was cradling Chloe away from him, his free hand resting just to the side of her head. "I'm not gonna hurt you – don't worry." He glanced at Emma. "I wouldn't pick on a kid that's done nuffin' wrong. She's gonna have a big enough problem havin' such a messed up mother." Nate's sentence made Will's blood boil – but he couldn't do anything about it. He knew if he laid a finger on Nate, Nate would take great pleasure in reaping every seed from Will, until he'd been squeezed of everything – including possibly watching Chloe grow up, which up until today hadn't looked like a prospect. He wasn't about to mess it up now it was.

"I want you to leave." Emma said strongly, looking Nate square in the eyes and she fiddled with her left hand. "If you knew I was so 'messed up' then why did you stay with me eh?" She held out her hand, two bands of silver glinting in the light. Nate didn't move. "Go on – take them. You wouldn't want me to have anything of yours coz I'm crazy. Remember?" Emma wasn't about to let Nate walk from her life after being so disgusting – she was a girl with dignity in any situation. Nate slowly edged towards Emma, the cool metal dropping into his hands as she let the rings slip from her grip. "You can have the house – I'll pick my stuff up and go stay at mum's. As soon as I'm done you can have my keys." Emma said, all emotion gone from her voice. Nate winced at the stoniness of her words. He had intended to break her – but he'd done the opposite. She was as strong as ever.

Nate strutted from the room, opening the door, taking one last look at the life he was leaving behind. He'd been quite happy living a lie that Emma had forged for him. But she hadn't been. "Your welcome to her…" Nate said scornfully, slamming the door so hard, the badly built walls and floor around Emma shook gently, his words echoing in her head, the many he had spoken that day – spite filled and genuinely nice – all merging into one.

* * *

Hey... hope you like it :D

Please press the little blue button in the corner and I'll try and UD real quick. Half term next week so I won't be pressed for time. It's all written and ready to be uploaded. Ten chapters to go!


	14. Shaken

_**Crushed**_

_**Chapter fourteen:- Shaken**_

Emma squinted into the bright light, proudly pushing the black pram from the hospital doors.

"Where are you gonna stay?" Will asked, his hand firmly wrapped in Emma's.

"I'll go stay with mum for a while. She's always nagging at me to pop over and see her more. I'm sure she won't mind." Emma admitted. "Can you take Chloe? I don't think I should take her back to Nate's. It's not fair on him…" Will nodded, squeezing Emma's hand. They both walked out of the hospital car park, enjoying each other's company, as everyone sped about their daily lives. "Busy place huh?" Will laughed as Emma almost got bowled over by two official looking men in sharp suits.

"Very!" Emma grinned. "Do you wanna push her?" She asked, stepping to the side so Will could push Chloe. Emma watched the pair closely – Will couldn't take his eyes of the little bundle of pink in the white of the cushions. "I think I'm gonna get a cab over to Nate's. It'll take ages to walk there and then I can see if the cabby'll drop me over to mum's." Emma flagged down a black London cab, before Will pulled on her arm.

"Why don't you come live with me?" Will asked suddenly. "I've got a spare room – we can decorate it for Chloe… it'd be perfect Emz. Like a proper family." Emma could barely believe what Will was proposing.

"You're serious aren't you?" Emma said, her mouth gawping open. Will nodded, gently rocking the pram back and forth.

"Why not? It makes sense doesn't it?" Will said. Emma looked thoughtful before nodding. "Right, so get a cab to Nate's, get a few bits – only what you need to live for a few days, and then come over to mine." Emma grinned and nodded, loving the control being imposed on her.

"What about the rest of it?" Emma asked.

"I'll go over sometime and pick it up… once you've boxed it all up and stuff. You've still got three months of maternity leave so you can sort it out then 'coz I can take leave to look after Chloe." Emma stood onto tiptoes, forcing her lips against Will's. "Emz!" He smiled, after gently pushing her away.

"I'm not married anymore – remember. It means I can do this…" Emma paused and kissed Will again. "Whenever I like." She grinned evilly. "And I will – got me?" She pulled on the hem of his top, before getting into the taxi and directing the driver, waving behind her to Will, who was stood on the centre of the pavement looking dumbfounded. Emma got her phone from her pocket.

Watch the baby not me! Love you Emz xxx

She strained to see into the distance; watching Will panic as he fumbled for his phone in his jeans pocket. She grinned as he read the text.

Emma pressed gingerly onto the gold buzzer on the door to her old house. She watched the silhouette edge closer to the door before it opened. Nate smiled, but Emma could see through him – his eyes were bloodshot and his cheeks were flushed and blotchy.

"I just need a few bits…" Emma explained quickly, stepping into the warmth. Nate nodded, trudging back into the lounge, and throwing back a tumbler of whisky down his throat. Emma watched on from the doorway – their wedding photo was standing in front of him, next to a large bottle full of pale bronze drink. "Drinking really isn't going to make things better." She said softly, walking towards him slowly, before sitting on the edge of the sofa. She took the wedding picture and ran her finger over her and Nate's entwined hands. "I'm so sorry…" She sighed, looking at Nate. Nate shrugged, not seeing what difference it made if Emma was sorry or not. "I'll… I'll just go and get some bits… can I use one of the suitcases?" She asked. Nate nodded. Emma walked upstairs and pulled a fluorescent pink case from under the bed. After she'd thrown a few things in there – several tops, a few trousers and lots of shoes, she moved into Chloe's room, and squeezed all of the baby grows and t-shirts she'd been bought into each tiny little hole that was left. Emma looked around Chloe's room – she and Nate had put so much effort into it – there was so much she was leaving behind. "I'm gonna go…" Emma said stiffly quickly poking her head into the lounge. Nate nodded not looking up.

"Do you wanna take it?" He asked holding up the wedding photo. Emma thought for a second before shaking her head.

"You need it more than I do." She said softly. Nate nodded, tears beginning to fall down his face.

"You've really made up your mind haven't you?" Nate asked, although it was more of a statement. Emma nodded.

"Yeah – yeah I have." She said, walking into the lounge. She picked up a photo from the mantle piece – her and Nate with their arms tight around each other. They weren't looking at the camera, but at each other, neither wanting to look away, for the harsh reality that surrounded them wasn't pretty. "Can I take this?" She asked. She knew it was pretty sick wanting a photo of you and your ex-husband together, but it reminded her of good times. Nate nodded and walked over to the fireplace, scanning the many photos.

"I take it you'll be wanting the scans?" Nate asked, pulling a wodge of paper from a china box before pushing it into Emma's hand. "You're always welcome here you know Emma – if things get hard with Will and you wanna get away for a night – we've… I've got a spare bedroom."

Emma looked away from Nate – she stared out of the window. She hadn't seen this caring side of Nate in a long time. During her pregnancy he'd been very over protective and not much fun to be around. Now she was beginning to wonder whether she was making the biggest, worst decision of her life.

"I better be off… the cabby is probably getting a little impatient." Emma smiled. Nate nodded slowly. "If you ever want to see Chloe – you know my mobile number." Nate couldn't bring himself to say anything. He stood glued to the spot, watching a golden blur heave a case behind her, before the door slamming harshly shook him to the harsh reality of his fast crumbling life. He watched the black taxi pull away from outside his house, before he decided to go and pack Emma and Chloe's things into boxes, so he could really start to move on. It was going to hurt, but he had to do it. It was a win, win situation – Emma would have less work to do when she came to get the rest of her stuff, which would mean he wouldn't have to suffer her company for as long – which, finally in turn, would mean that he could start trying to get over Emma and the life he had.

"Wow… wow…" Will took Emma's case from her grip seeing her body was shaking badly as she tried to lug it up the stairs. Emma followed Will up, before flopping dramatically onto the sofa, pulling out the photos she had taken from the house and laying them out over Will's floor.

"Chloe's asleep in her pram… in the spare room…" Will said, sitting down next to Emma and pulling him into her, stroking her hair, and then cheek, stopping the flow of tears making their way onto her t-shirt. "How did he take it?" He asked, closing his eyes, really not wanting to talk about Nate. Emma shrugged, bolting upwards at the mention of Nate.

"How could he take it?" She asked emotionlessly. She could feel Will's hands caressing her shoulders, and her back, but she couldn't relax knowing Nate was drinking himself into stupor back at home. "He was drinking… the whole house stunk of the stuff…" She said, repulsed, talking on autopilot. "I dunno how he's going to cope…"

"But how are you going to cope?" Will said, trying to divert the conversation away from Nate. "You're the one with the child…"

"I've got you though…" Emma protested. She fell against Will again and sighed – Will did have a point. Nate had to forge his own path in life just like Emma did. She couldn't always be there for him, and now she had to prove that. "I was thinking that… well 'coz so much has changed… we could go down the station with Chloe tomorrow… you can do the whole proud father routine and I won't even try to stop you!" Emma grinned. "Nate's not working tomorrow so he'll be way out of the way." Will nodded, glad Emma wasn't ashamed to show the world what was going on. "Chlo's gonna be five days old… so I reckon she should get to see where her mummy and daddy spend their days wasting away." Will pressed his lips against Emma's nose, and then down to her lips, slowly parting them. It felt so good that now – finally – he didn't have to hide his feelings.

"Are you still too hormonal for me to tell you something?" Will asked, suddenly pulling away from Emma, holding her hand delicately. Emma looked at Will carefully.

"Depends what it is…" She said sceptically.

"I… l love you…" He said quietly, a deep red blush creeping up his neck, never having been quite so forthright in his life. Emma grinned, tightly wrapping her arms around Will's waist, her index finger circling several bones in his spine.

"I'm definitely not to hormonal for that." She smiled. "I love you too."

* * *

**Hellooo! This chapter is for everyone who reviewed last time, Jilly, Kat, Hollie, as1999, Abi and Kim - thank you so much guys... please keep reading and reviewing - they always make me smile :D**

**UD soon as always - E xx**


	15. No Surprises

_**Crushed**_

_**Chapter fifteen:- No Surprises**_

"Guh!" Emma looked down at her stomach, it being still the size of a small football. "It's five days – and I still look like I'm expecting." She moaned, pulling out a red hooded sweatshirt from the wardrobe and pulling it over her head, checking in the mirror next to her that her hair wasn't out of place and that it covered her figure, as she'd wanted.

"You look fine." Will said, sitting onto the crisp white bed covers next to Chloe's crib.

"I don't feel it." Emma said stubbornly, pulling on some Ugg style boots over her jeans. Will sighed and picked up Chloe from the crib, cradling her in his one arm as Emma threw him a tiny pink fleece, and watched him expertly fit the jacket to Chloe's tiny wriggling form without dropping her. "You sure you've never done this before?" Emma smiled, looking over at Will, not taking her eyes off him. He rolled his eyes and shook his head.

"For the second time no, no, no!" He replied laughing. Emma nodded and winked, taking the pram from the side of the room and wheeling it over to Will. "You do know she's gonna be scarred for life after meeting everyone." Will warned, taking hold of Emma's hand as she used the other to guide the pram from the flat.

"She's already been scarred enough by the crazy first few hours of her life. Nothing'll surprise her no more." Emma called for the lift just outside Will's flat, eyeing Chloe.

"Not the kinda birth you imagined?" Will asked. Emma shook her head certainly.

"No… but I wouldn't change any of it." She added quickly. "Look… I know now really isn't the time… but I don't really know when is…" Emma stuttered uncertainly. Will nodded slowly. "You know I was on the computer for ages last night…" Again Will nodded, sensing that she was waiting on his answer. "Well I was researching divorce." She finished quickly.

"You… what?" Will questioned disbelievingly, thinking he'd misheard.

"Divorce. There's nothing left between Nate and I – the only thing holding us together is a piece of paper. It doesn't mean anything to me." Emma reasoned, clutching onto the pram for support as the lift jerked to a halt. Will didn't say anything, but walked ahead of Emma along the pavement. "Will…" Emma groaned, not able to push Chloe any faster. Will turned the corner, hearing Emma's voice, but letting it float over him. If she was getting a divorce, did that mean she wanted something more from him? "Will! For God's sake!" Emma shouted, her words short and sharp. Will stopped, turning around. "What the hell's with you?"

"What do you want me to say? You've just told me your getting divorced, am I supposed to get down on one knee or something? Coz I think I'm missing the point of you tellin' me before Nate." Will shot back at her.

"No! I just thought you ought to know – seeing as we are living together. Nate won't like it – I want you to hear my side of the story, not some warped gossip that's turned into a game of Chinese whispers." Emma replied. "I don't want anything to change between us. So what if we've got Chloe? It doesn't mean we have to get married – it doesn't mean we have to get engaged. I just want to be me for a while." She finished softly, looking deep into Will's eyes for any trace of emotion.

"Right…" Will said uncertainly. "Look – we shouldn't be talking about it in the middle of London – we'll talk about it over tea tonight babe." Will suggested brightly, placing his hand securely on the small of Emma's back, leading her towards the entrance of Sun Hill. The blue metal doors opened automatically before them, the mechanical cogs whirring in the background.

"Hi…" Emma smiled at the receptionist, whilst Will punched in the ID number to let him and Emma into the rest of the station. They walked along the familiar walls plastered in various posters about crime reduction, knife crime increasing and the consequences of taking drugs, buying them and supplying them. Neither Emma nor Will quite understood why they had been put there, because no criminal would ever see them. Emma knocked on Gina's door, leaning over the pram as she did so. "Ma'am." She smiled radiantly, as she pushed open the door. Gina was sat at her desk typing furiously at the computer. She stopped suddenly, and jumped off the chair, looking down into the pram.

"The latest addition to the Roberts family I see." She grinned, her normal stony exterior melting into oblivion. Emma glanced at Will and bit her lip. "Oh… Will… I thought you were off this week – and next…" Gina said frowning. He nodded.

"I am… but I'm with Emma." He replied, trying to keep his cool with Gina after her comment about Chloe being Nate's.

"Nate couldn't make it – the late nights… or early mornings catching up with him?" Gina laughed, looking between Emma and Will – neither of them were laughing or even smiling. "What's happened?" She asked suspiciously. "Is it the baby?"

"Will's with me… Will's with me because he's Chloe's father." Emma said, a lot stronger than she felt inside – he body was shaking, only being stopped by Will closing the gap between them and holding his hand around Emma's waist. Gina's mouth hung open, as she looked between the young family.

"Does Nate know?" Gina asked. Emma swallowed and nodded.

"Yep…" She raised her eyebrows. "He knows alright…" Gina stood in shock for a while, before she realized she was staring.

"So what's she called? Chloe…"

"Chloe Louise Fletcher." Emma said proudly.

"And she was born on… Friday?"

"Yep, Friday 17th April – 11.47… she was 5oz 8 pounds." Will grinned, every inch the proud father. Gina smiled – she had thought Nate would have made an amazing daddy, but Will wasn't half stepping up to the job well.

"Everyone was asking after you this morning!" Gina grinned. "I think you'll find Sally and Ben in the Writing Room, Beth and Diane in the evidence room and I think Tony and Smithy are out on a shout but they might be lurking somewhere. Honestly I need my officers to have babies more often – I've never known everyone so eager to stay in the station!" Emma giggled and pulled Chloe carefully out of the pram, gently holding her hand to the baby's tiny head.

"I'll leave that in the locker room – if that's ok." Emma said, nodding down to the pram. Gina nodded.

"Course it is – see you two later. Good luck." Gina smiled, and gently ran her thumb over Chloe's cheek. "God – such a good little thing. I have to wonder where she got it from." Will laughed, keeping his hand wrapped tightly around Emma's waist, as they walked through the all too familiar corridors of Sun Hill.

"Ooheee!" Emma span around. "Look!!" Beth squealed, running towards Emma, a huge grin painted on her face. "She is adorable!"

"She is _the_ cutest." Diane smiled in agreement, just catching the, as always, very enthusiastic Beth up. Chloe gurgled happily in Emma's arms, her arms working overtime as they spun around and around. Emma smiled up at Will her body bursting with happiness.

"So how's she been?" Diane asked. "I remember when Thomas was born. I didn't get a night's sleep for weeks." She tried to laugh, but everyone heard her voice cracking with emotion nobody had ever seen her harbour before. Emma looked at Will, trying to show him that he was allowed to talk – to pass his feelings.

"She's been amazing." Emma said quickly. Will had opened and closed his mouth several times, before sighing, not really sure what to say. "We've barely heard anything from her." Emma moved her left hand over Chloe's body, tucking her blanket under her body securely as a gust of wind rippled through the corridor.

Beth stood in front of Emma, both hands before her, her thumbs at ninety degrees to her fingers. She frowned, and looked at her still outstretched hands again, before resting her hands on her hips. "Is that your left hand?" She asked confused, pointing at Emma's hand, now resting on Chloe's stomach lightly. Emma nodded slowly.

"Why?"

"You're not wearing your wedding ring… or your engagement ring…" Beth trailed off uncertainly, looking at the closing gap between Emma and Will.

"I know." Emma smiled happily, pressing her cheek into Will's chest, trying to divert the girls' attention. Neither Diane nor Beth spoke. "Alright, alright! Will and I are together now – and Nate and I… aren't." Emma said simply. But that wasn't enough, the girls weren't happy with that explanation. "It wouldn't have been fair on Chloe to bring her up around lies – so… well… yeah that's why Will and I are together."

"Chloe's yours?" Beth asked frowning, looking up at Will, who nodded. Emma nudged him in the ribs.

"Yeah…" Will said, stuck for words. Beth grinned.

"You two make such a cute couple!" She beamed, whilst Diane stood rooted to the spot, lost for words. "When are you back at work then?" Beth asked Emma. Emma laughed and looked at Will.

"Not for some time yet!" Emma grinned.

"It's not the same with out you." Beth moaned. "It's well borin'."

"Cheers!" Diane nudged Beth jokingly, knowing Beth didn't mean it spitefully. "That Zoë girl that took over from you is a right stuck up cow." Beth nodded in agreement. "She doesn't come out with us – and she lives with her parents in Grange Drive and she talks like…" Beth took Diane's sideward glance as her queue. She held her thumb and finger over her nose.

"Hello, I'm PC Zoë Jenkins, daddy spoils me rotten, and I'm way too good to sink to your levels. I'm totally up myself." Beth, Diane and Will fell into fits of laughter, but Emma didn't realize how comparable Beth's impression was of the young officer.

"You're so mean!" Emma said, shaking her head at Beth.

"You've not met her babe – she is a total wannabe." Will assured. "You really ought to meet her. Then you'd know." Emma smiled, and stood out of the way as an auburn haired officer bobbed passed them, her noise in the air, her arms swinging at her side, before she stopped suddenly and turned to Emma.

"You do know that civilians aren't allowed in this section of the station." She said, looking at Beth and Diane. Beth bit down on her lip and turned to Emma.

"Emma, Zoë; Zoë Emma." Beth said quickly before turning to face the wall, her face pink from fighting back the laughter. Zoë held out her hand, looking up at Emma, her nose pulled up in disgust. Emma gingerly took Zoë's hand, it being gripped tightly.

"Daddy said I have to be careful with the likes of… him." Zoë looked at Will before continuing. "Apparently all some male police officers want is a bit of You-Know-What." She lowered her voice as if she was a teenager talking about something totally sordid. Emma couldn't quite believe what she was hearing, Zoë barely knew her yet she was quite willing to badmouth Will.

"Well you better not upset 'daddy' now had you." Emma threw back bitterly looking Zoë up and down and waving. "I guess I'll see you around." Zoë strutted past Diane and Beth who had managed to recompose herself. "O…kay…" Emma gasped. "I feel so sorry for you guys!" She giggled. "What does The Super think of her?"

"That she's Miss Perfect-Goody-Two-Shoes." Diane said shaking her head. "He won't hear a word against her – even coming from Gina, Smithy, Callum or Nikki. It's crazy."

"Weirdo." Emma said rolling her eyes. Everyone nodded in agreement. "Have you seen Sally about? I said I'd try and find her…"

"Something came over the radio a little while ago and I think Sal and Ben took it." Diane said. "They might have got back – but I've not heard anything." Emma looked at Will.

"Is there anyone you wanna see?" She asked. Will shook his head after thinking for a few seconds. "We should be off then – she's due a feed in a little while." Beth and Diane mouthed 'aww' to each other.

"Good luck babes." Beth said, hugging Emma with one arm. "She looks like she's gonna be an angel for you." Emma smiled, taking Will's hand.

"Thanks." They smiled together, before making their way back towards the locker room.

"Oh – and Emz – make sure you get back to work AS SOON AS POSSIBLE!" Diane laughed, before Emma and Will turned the corner along the main corridor. Emma giggled and looked thoughtful before nodding and grinning.

"As soon as I can come back – I'll come back." She agreed.

* * *

**_Hey!! Thanks to Jilly, Abi, Kim, Kat and Hollie for reviewing last chapter - the reviews are a little down... but 65 reviews?! OMG thats loads - so yeah I don't mind that they are a little down, I have had loads, and they've all been really, really nice. So please keep it up lol!!_**

**_As ever, I'll UD soon - Em xxx_**


	16. Angel

_**Crushed**_

_**Chapter sixteen:- Angel**_

Emma tore her body away from Will's, Chloe's high-pitched shrieks echoing through the wall separating her room from theirs. Slowly padding through the hallway, Emma opened Chloe's bedroom door, watching her arms beating the air, her legs kicking away her blanket. She was torn as to whether she should see to her after reading a parenting book about how babies will grow up clingy if you jump every time they cry. She couldn't just stand and watch, so she slowly and quietly advanced towards the cot.

"What's up with you then missy?" Emma said, picking Chloe up and jiggling her about her arms. Chloe's wailing slowly subsided to sobs, her eyes no longer watery, but bloodshot. "Hmm…" Emma sighed, rolling her eyes, as Chloe closed her eyes. Emma didn't stop rocking her, her whole body swaying in time to the beat of a song she had heard on the radio earlier that day. She hummed the beat, feeling Chloe's body relax into hers. "What are we gonna do with you." Emma said gently, placing Chloe back in her cot, watching her whimper slightly before she tucked her blanket back around her neck. Emma brought her hands to her eyes, rubbing them vigorously as she walked towards the door, right into Will. Emma groaned and opened her eyes. "Sorry…" She mumbled. Will shook his head and guided Emma back to their bedroom, his hand resting on the small of her back.

"Don't get up again for her tonight Emz. You've got work tomorrow." Will said, tucking the sheets around Emma's neck as Emma had done for Chloe just minutes before. He sat on the edge of the bed for a while, running his fingers through Emma's hair, watching her eyes flicker closed and her chest rising up and down. He kissed her forehead, before turning back into bed himself, wrapping his arms around Emma's body.

"Did she wake up again?" Emma asked through a mouthful of Shreddies. Will shook his head, throwing the toast he had just toasted onto a plate quickly, before sitting down next to Emma. "Good – you will be ok with her won't you?" Emma asked worriedly looking at Will. "You know her nappies are in the hall cupboard, and her bottles are by the microwave. The bag you need to take to the crèche…" Emma trailed off as Will held his forefinger to her lips.

"Is in her bedroom under the pram. I know baby." He reassured Emma. Emma smiled.

"Sorry…" She flicked the radio on, hoping to catch the news before she got to work in case anything interesting was happening. Emma didn't realize as the news reader went on, she was slouching lower and lower in her seat, her eyes growing heavier and heavier. "Boring…" She moaned, turning the radio back off, before letting her head loll against Will's arm. "It's too early." Will laughed, rubbing Emma's back. "Way too early."

"And I'd like to welcome back Emma." Everyone cheered, however Emma knew that this was because of Zoë's departure from the station. "Alright, alright; calm it guys." She said sternly, secretly pleased Zoë had left as well. "Emma I'd like you working in CID with Smithy. I think he'll be glad he isn't landed with that Zoë girl today." Emma smirked, unable to believe she had been jealous of the new police officer when she had turned out to be the most hated person within Sun Hill station. "Everyone else same as yesterday." Everyone shuffled around the briefing room, a few people saying things along the lines of 'Welcome Back' to Emma, before they hurried off not wanting to fall under Gina's evil eye.

Emma made her way along the corridors of Sun Hill, that despite her four months off, she hadn't forgotten. "Sarge." Emma muttered politely at an officer she didn't recognised, as he held open the doors to CID for her.

"Welcome back Emma…" Sam smiled, laying some papers over a free desk. Emma looked around her and frowned. CID was a mess! There were bits of paper everywhere, green files piled up on the floor and the whiteboards were covered in pictures and different coloured annotations. "I'm gonna have to throw you in at the deep end I'm afraid – I'd like you and sergeant Smith to go down t' The Shack and get some CCTV tapes." Emma nodded, looking around for her partner for the day. "Where is Smithy anyway? Sam asked.

Emma shrugged. "I was about to ask you exactly the same thing." She smiled, rolling her eyes, holding her radio to her lips. "361 to 54." Emma said, before her radio crackled to life. "Where the hell are you?" She said exasperated, Smithy sounded rather flustered in the background as doors slammed shut.

"On… my… way…" He said. Emma could hear running footsteps, so assumed he was running late.

"Sure – I'll see you in a sec." Emma said, looking at Sam and rolling her eyes. "Men!" They both laughed at the same time.

"Sorry I'm late." Smithy said breathlessly. Both Emma and Sam turned around from the whiteboard where Sam was getting her up to speed on the case. "CCTV – right?" He asked. Sam nodded questioningly. "Inspector Gold told me. She overheard you talking to Max Carter." Sam nodded and waved them from the room.

"Max Carter?" Emma asked, furrowing her eyebrow.

"New sergeant – joined a few months back." Smithy said vaguely. Emma knew it was the same person who had held the door open for her back in CID seeing as he was the only person she failed to recognise. "So… welcome back." Smithy smiled. "I hear you and Will have got things together." He said casually. Emma blushed and nodded.

"I bet this place has been a bit of a rumour mill – what with Will, Nate and I off at different times over the last few months." Emma said, almost sadly as she thought about the things people could have been saying.

"A bit?" Smithy laughed. "I think people expected Nate to clear things up. But he's barely said a work to anybody since he came back." Emma bit down on her lip guiltily. "He's like a different person." Emma didn't say anything, but watched the cars zoom past either side of her as Smithy sped down the middle lane along the main road through Canley.

"I… I… dunno. I've heard he's been drinking a lot." Emma said, almost asking Smithy for his opinion, but he just shrugged, getting his answer together in his head.

"He's been working better than ever this last few months. Volunteering for overtime and stuff. If he has been drinking – he don't 'alf hide it well." Smithy said. "Look – this is probably the last thing you wanna talk about." Emma smiled weakly – he was right, it was. "So, how's Chloe?" He asked brightly.

"Good – she's amazing. Apart from waking up once or twice during the night, she is just a complete angel. She's always so… happy. Like she doesn't cry or nothing." Emma gushed happily. "I was expecting sleepless nights for months." Dale smiled down at the suddenly bouncy, smiling woman before him. She was like a different person to the one he had been talking about Nate to.

"You must be doing something right then." He laughed.

"Sierra Oscar to 361." Emma held her radio to her lips.

"Go ahead."

"Disturbance reported at fifteen Milbank Avenue. Can you deal?" Emma looked at Smithy immediately through the car into reverse, pressing down on the blue button on the dashboard that turned on the lights and sirens.

"361 to Sierra Oscar, we're on our way." Emma stayed silent all the way to Milbank Avenue, when she started looking out for number fifteen. "The even numbers are on that side." Emma pointed out, indicating to her left. "Seven, nine, eleven – fifteen. That's weird – no thirteen." Emma frowned. Smithy looked between numbers eleven and fifteen.

"I guess if the council can't count from one to twenty, then the school kids 'ave no hope." Emma grinned, jumping out of the car, to where a young woman, of no older than twenty-five was shouting out of the window.

"Just get out of my sight you racist bastard!" She screamed; slamming the window, so hard Emma was surprised it didn't shatter. Smithy flinched at the noise. Emma knocked on the door, whilst Smithy talked to the helpless looking man stood on the drive. "I don't need you here, I've got it all under control." The woman said shortly, trying to shut the door again, however Emma wedged her foot in the way.

"Screaming obscenities out of the window would not appear you have it under control Mrs…" Emma said firmly.

"Pavey. Look – it's a private matter." She continued, facing away from Emma, staring blankly at a photo on the mantle piece. "He used to be such a nice guy…" She sighed sorrowfully. "I dunno what's changed – ever since I miscarried he's been all distant and stuff…" Emma walked up behind Mrs Pavey. She was looking between a scan photo and a picture of a couple at a wedding.

"Mrs Pavey…"

"Rachel – that's makes me sound so old!" She smiled.

"Rachel – you called your husband 'racist'. What did you mean by that?" Emma asked softly.

"Oh… it was just heat of the moment. Y'ano – just something you say." Rachel said quickly. "Look I'm really pleased you came over, but I honestly don't need it. I'm sure you have more pressing issues to deal with." Emma sighed and shook her head.

"Not really but we can't give our help where it's not wanted." Emma handed Rachel her card. "If anything happens then give me a call." Rachel nodded, taking the card and placing it over the picture of her and her husband at the wedding. "I can ask Mr Pavey to leave if you would like – warn him that if he comes back then we will have to arrest him?" Rachel nodded.

"Yeah... Thanks." She smiled. Emma shook her head.

"No worries." Emma turned from the room and made her way out of the house, Rachel following closely behind. Emma stepped from the door and Rachel quickly closed it behind her, before her husband got a chance to see her. "Okay Mr Pavey, I would be grateful if you moved on please. Have you got anywhere to go?" He shook his head. "Friends, family?" He shrugged. "B and B?"

"Rach has my wallet." He said simply.

"For now Mr Pavey, I would like you to go and stay with some friends or family for a few hours until you both cool down. If you come anywhere near Rachel or her house again, then we will be forced to arrest you. Is that clear?" Mr Pavey sighed and nodded.

"When do I get my stuff?" He asked.

"When Rachel calls you. When you feel ready to talk like adults." Emma said forcefully, looking at Rachel and holding her thumbs up at the head peering through the net curtains in the lounge. Mr Pavey caught sight of this and Rachel quickly looked away. "Come on now, please just move along. It's easier for us all." He did as he was told, and Emma made her way back over to the Area car, Smithy following behind, his mouth aghast.

"Well Miss Keane, you certainly don't waste your time getting back into the swing of things." Smithy commented. Emma grinned.

"To long cooped up at home." She replied. "And anyway it's not like it was hard – just a domestic. They'll be back together tomorrow." Emma assured. Smithy raised his eyebrow.

"Ever the optimist 'ey?" He asked.

"You gotta admit, the other option is pretty bleak." Emma retorted coolly. Smithy nodded, knowing Emma was right. "Do you wanna go back to the station for REF's?" Emma asked, but she had other reasons for going. She wanted to see how Chloe was settling in at the crèche. They both seemed to have forgotten about getting the CCTV for Sam.

* * *

**_ 6 chapters to go!! Hope you are all liking the fic... as I said last chapter... there's still a lot to come - basically if I get loads of reviews (hehe) I'll UD really really quickly because the action starts next chapter..._**

**_Thanks to everyone who took the time to RnR last time._**

**_Emz xxx_**


	17. Missing Insticts

_**Crushed**_

_**Chapter seventeen:- Missing Instincts**_

"Can I see Chloe Fletcher please?" Emma asked the middle-aged woman who was standing amongst a large group of children. "My boyfriend brought her in this morning." Emma explained. The woman nodded, looking down a list on a blue clipboard. Her face paled at an alarming rate, and she refused to look at Emma.

"Chloe was taken out about fifteen minutes ago." She stated bluntly, however Emma could see that there was emotion running high in the woman's blood.

"What!" Emma exploded, grabbing onto the wall for support. Some of the younger children looked up at her, startled. Their bottom lips wobbled, but Emma didn't care. Who had Chloe? "Are you not told that us Police Officers are some of the most hated people not just in Canley, but London?" Emma asked incredulously. "You should know not to go giving other people kids away!"

"He… he was in a police uniform…" The woman said quietly, her name badge glinted in the light; Emma read her name – Janet. "He said that you'd told him to come and pick Chloe up at the end of his shift."

"Did it not occur to you that if he had finished working; HE WOULDN'T BE IN HIS DAMN UNIFORM STILL?" Emma rubbed her temples with her fingers, desperately wracking her brains for someone she or Will had upset recently. "Ok, when was this? Have you got CCTV?" Emma started bombarding Janet with questions, her Police Instincts kicking in.

"It was about fifteen minutes ago – max. We don't have CCTV – we don't believe it's right to be filming the children. They are all so young. There should be CCTV outside." Janet said.

"I know bloody well there's CCTV outside." Emma snapped. "I work here remember?" Janet looked taken aback by Emma's outbursts. She looked at the ground; a young boy was tugging at her trousers. Emma sighed and rolled her eyes, stepping back.

"What is it Timmy?" Janet asked, swinging the boy onto her hip. Timmy looked at Emma, pointing his stubby finger at her chest.

"She's scaring me…" He mumbled incoherently, but Janet seemed to understand. She placed the boy on the floor, back with the other children.

"It is my duty to look after these children…"

"It's just a shame you decided not to look after my daughter properly." Emma retorted.

"… So I must insist that you either calm down, or get one of your colleagues to come up and get this written down." Janet continued, as if Emma hadn't interrupted her. Emma took several deep breaths, a lump forming in the back of her throat.

"What colour hair did he have? Did he give you a name?" Emma asked calmly, sitting on a chair behind her, holding her head in her hands, her vision becoming blurred as tears poured into her eyes.

"He had… dirty blonde hair… PC… Roberts?" Emma looked up a Janet sharply – she couldn't have heard her properly – could she? "Blue eyes…" Emma jumped, almost knocking several of the children out of the way as she ran to the door.

"Thank you – thank you so much." Emma cried, her hair sticking to her damp cheeks. She threw open the door and ran down the corridor, causing some officers to stare at her, confused, but no one tried to stop her. As she ran, the people and walls around her seemed to blend into nothingness, until someone grabbed her arms. She looked around her, realizing she had run from one side of the station, to another.

"Emma?" Smithy asked, his voice full of concern as he looked the young girl up and down, her cheeks tinged with grey from the mascara that had run down her face. "What's happened?" Emma caught her breath.

"Will – I need Will…" She panted desperately, looking around her. "Chloe… Chloe's gone – I think… Nate – Nate's got her." Smithy frowned and shook his head, grasping Emma's shoulders tightly, as if trying to hold up a rag doll.

"Emma, that's not possible." He said gently. "Nate's not in today."

"But he was here! Janet said so – she gave a description – she said that PC… Roberts had collected Chlo… he said that I had said he should go get her." Emma said urgently, her voice high pitched and hysterical. "Please Smithy – believe me! Nate was gutted when I told him Chloe wasn't his. I think he might do something stupid. He isn't right… up here." Emma tapped her head. Smithy looked at Emma again before sighing and nodding.

"Come on…" He started to race through the station, Emma close on his heels. "EXCUSE ME!" He shouted at the top of his voice. People dived to the side of the corridors, watching as the two officers raced through. Smithy banged on Gina's door, not stopping for Gina to call the pair in. He dived into the room, before Emma stumbled in, just able to push the door open again with her shaking arms.

"What the…" Gina stood from her chair and looked Smithy, and then Emma up and down critically.

"Nate – Chloe… gone…" Emma spluttered, her big tears landing on Gina's floral carpet. Gina frowned.

"What was the PC Keane?" She asked, her hands on her hips.

"Nate's got Chloe!" Smithy repeated. "He took… her from… the crèche…"

"… About fif…teen minutes ago…" Emma finished, collapsing on the chair, her body shaking so violently she could no longer support herself. Gina picked up her phone quickly dialling in a number without looking, her eyes fixated towards the young mother before her.

"Jack its Gina; we've got a problem…" She stated into the receiver, between Emma's sobs. "I need you and DI Nixon down here right now!" She put the phone back on the hook, looking at the map behind her, scouring her finger over the station at first and then down various roads. "He can't of got far with her." Gina reassured, although she didn't sound to sure. Smithy crouched down in front of Emma, holding her shoulders.

"We'll find her Emz – don't you worry. I need you to go and find Will for us." Emma looked panicked and shook her head.

"I'm not leaving – all sorts of things could happen. I wanna know everything that happens straight away." She said looking at Smithy, pleading with him with her eyes. Dale held his radio up to his mouth.

"54 to 543."

"Go ahead 54." Will voice crackled down the radio. Hearing Will's voice, however far away he was, made Emma cry even harder in her jumper.

"He's gonna kill me…" Emma breathed, wiped her eyes, strokes of grey running down her hand.

"I need you back at the station immediately. It's urgent – I don't care how you get here; but you need to be here NOW!" Emma could hear Will and Sally mumbling in the background; she guessed they were discussing what had gone so wrong.

"We're on our way." Sally said, as Will accelerated out of the parking space in the Jasmine Allen.

"He's going to hate me – he loves Chloe… like anything. He'll never forgive me." Emma said, standing up, and looking out of the window. Smithy looked at Gina, who shook her head, implying that he was to wait for Will to get there.

"What's happened?" Jack asked, as he stepped into Gina's office. He looked between Smithy and Emma who were both looking equally as worried as each other; just Emma was showing it with tears. "Have they…" Smithy couldn't help but snort – how could Jack even think there was something between him and Emma.

"God – no, no." Gina set Jack straight, explaining everything she had been told – just it didn't take that long for she hadn't been told that much. Jack nodded, his hand resting on his chin as he looked behind Gina towards the map of Canley. Jack stayed silent for a good while.

"Right, we need to alert all the air ports and ferry docks. If Nate does try and take Chloe out of the country, he won't get very far." Smithy immediately got onto his mobile, walking out of the office to make the call. "Have u got any photos of Chloe – or Nate?" Jack asked Emma. Emma nodded and pulled her phone form her pocket, scrolling through the many pictures of Chloe until she found one she thought suitable. She passed Jack her phone and he smiled. Chloe was dressed in a pale pink t-shirt and tiny blue jeans. She was being held in someone's arms, which he assumed to be Will's. "The next one is one of Nate." Emma said, watching Jack examine the photo. Nate was nothing like the man he was looking at in the photo. He no longer smiled; he no longer made an effort with his appearance.

"Ma'am…" Will shot into Gina's door, at first looking at Gina; looking more than slightly flushed. He glanced around the room, suddenly seeing Emma in the corner, looking aimlessly out of the window. "Emz? What's happened?" He said, panicking; was she in some kind of trouble? He bolted to the other side of the room, ignoring the words he was getting from Gina and Jack; they all seemed to wash right over him. Emma turned around feeling Will behind her. She wrapped her arms tightly around Will's neck, sobbing uncontrollably onto his shoulder. Will opened his mouth several times, attempting each time to say something, but as he said it in his head it seemed to sound wrong. Slowly Emma's sobs subsided, but they were still there, echoing around the silent room, Gina, Jack and Smithy looking on at the pair, feeling totally helpless.

"Will… err… you better sit down." Jack said, as Will turned around to face his superiors, still holding onto Emma's hand. Will did as he was told after sitting Emma down on one of the two seats. "Okay… Emma went to see Chloe earlier…" Jack paused, not really knowing how to say what he knew he had too. "Chloe wasn't there." Will's face drained of all the flushed colour it once had. "Can you confirm that you did drop her off at the crèche before you came to work?" Will nodded, what kind of question was that?

"Yeah – the assistant was called Janet, she took my name and number." Will said quietly, retaking Emma's hand in his. "Where is she – who's got her?" Will asked, not appearing to be as angry as Emma; but inside he was fuming. "Why did Janet let her go? She knew who I was." Questions spun in Will's head – he couldn't make sense of them all, just the obvious ones Emma had already asked.

"We think Nate has her – so he shouldn't do anything stupid." Gina said soothingly.

"Shit… Nate? But why?" Will said, frowning.

"Because of us." Emma said hoarsely. "Because I took away the child he thought was his. He wants to get back at us."

"I don't think it's personal y'ano." Jack said, in thick Yorkshire accent shining. Both Emma and Will snorted. "Nah… Nate's not got it in him. It's a cry for help. He knows that taking your daughter from the station crèche is gonna get him noticed."

"Then why don't he just ask?" Smithy asked. Jack rolled his eyes.

"Because he's proud. He doesn't want to admit he's in a bad place. In his eyes, he's already been through enough humiliation, what with Emma leaving him, so admitting he needs help – that's the last thing he'd be able to do." Jack said, facing Smithy, talking slowly, as if it was an obvious question he was answering. Emma, Will and Smithy all started putting their ideas forward, but no-one could be heard above the others. Gina shook her head, standing from her chair.

"STOP!" She shouted. Everyone turned, startled, to face her. "Right, it's all very good speculating about Nate's mental health, but we need to be doing something. We need to start an official investigation with CID and lodge Chloe and Nate as missing people." Emma's lower lip trembled again at the mention of Chloe.

"Missing?" She echoed.

"Yes." Gina said, she knew Emma was upset, but she needed to be given some credit. "Now Emma, Will I want you well away from the investigation. I want you both either back home, or staying in here." Will opened his mouth to protest. "And in here only." Gina finished sharply, leaving the couple on their own, absorbed in though paths that took them over and over what they had found out over the last hour.

* * *

**Hey!! Uh... yeah, I told you the action kinda started now, so I hope you like it... the more reviews the quicker I'll UD I guess... **

**Emz x**


	18. Paler Than White

_**Crushed**_

_**Chapter eighteen:- Paler than White**_

Emma looked at herself in the full-length mirror beside her bed. Under Gina's orders, she and Will had to return home last night. Some might have thought that because Chloe was not screaming the roof down for half of the night, Emma might have got some sleep. But she didn't. The grey semi-circles under her eyes were greyer than ever, and her complexion was paler than white.

Emma dived for her mobile that started frantically ringing on the bedside table. "Hello?" Will stood by the door biting his nails, only a towel wrapped loosely around his waist. "What, now?" Emma asked, frowning. "Sure – we'll be straight down." Emma finished the call, turning to Will, his eyes eager asking all the questions he was to tired to do so. "The DCI wants us to go down to the station to hold an appeal." Emma said grimly. "Now." She added.

"That's great news Em!" Will beamed, wrapping his arms around Emma, causing several damp patches to appear on her nightdress. "Isn't it?" Will asked looking at Emma's face. She tried to smile, but her bottom lip began to wobble and tears quickly filled up her dull, tired eyes.

"I don't think I can do it. The press will rip us apart." Emma said weakly. "We're supposed to be the ones solving the crimes, not being victimized by it."

"I know baby… but I don't want you to worry about what should or shouldn't be considered right or wrong. I just want you to concentrate on us getting back Chloe." Emma nodded. "We know who has Chloe, and we know that he can't get out of the country with her. Nate isn't going to go far with her. Someone will see him; someone will ring Crime Stoppers. His picture is over every newspaper in London, and he was all over the news last night. Everyone is looking for him." Again Emma nodded. "Go get yourself dressed, and then we can go down to the station, and make a move to get Chloe back." Emma pulled away from Will, and dragged herself to her wardrobe where she pulled out her jeans, a plain white t-shirt and a mint green hoodie. As she got dressed, her thoughts were plagued with Chloe's little face, and then Nate's angry expression when he had seen Emma and Will together in the hospital. They went over and over in her mind on loop, every little thing on her body; every tiny imperfection reminded her of something she'd rather forget about Nate. Emma flopped against the bed after pulling on her trainers. Will walked over to her and took her hand, gently pulling Emma from the duvet. "The sooner we get there, the sooner we get back home."

"There were photographers outside last night." Emma said as she walked down the stairs. Will sighed; he hadn't realized Emma had seen. He had purposefully not told her for he knew it would upset her. "Will they still be there?" Emma asked, peering out of the spy hole in the middle of the door. "They will be." She groaned clinging onto Will's hand has he opened the door. Suddenly camera flashed from all directions, and microphones were thrown in the their faces.

"Keep your head down babe. Don't say anything. Don't look at them. Ignore them totally." Will said soothingly to Emma who he felt grip tighter onto his hand.

"Miss Keane, is it true that you left Roberts only a few months ago?" Came from one side of the path, whilst on the other, another reporter was shouting something totally different.

"Is it true that your daughter, the missing girl, is actually Nate Roberts' daughter too and you plotted this to get rid of her?" Emma ran ahead to the end of the road, before breaking down into tears, grasping a piece of green hedge for support. Will ran after Emma, forcing himself not to lose his rag with the media. It wouldn't look good if he ended up whacking one of the reporters. With the amount of cameras that were rolling, it would no doubt have been caught on one. And then they'd land themselves in yet another mess. Will pictured the headline of the morning paper.

_Unfit Parents: Chloe Fletcher Placed In Care_

Under that would then be a picture of Will throttling a defenceless man.

"Don't let them get to you." Will said behind Emma, taking her by surprise. She jumped around, her blood boiling already from the damn insensitive questions she'd just been propositioned with.

"THEY THINK I GOT NATE TO _TAKE_ CHLOE!" Emma shouted. "I CAN'T HELP IT IF THAT GETS TO ME – OK?" She screamed, starting to walk ahead of Will, her head spinning as she asked herself why she had just alienated Will, when she needed him more than ever. Emma ran into the security of Sun Hill station, after once again being pounded on by reporters. She stumbled through the mass, her body shaking as some of the many questions she'd been asked at home, cropped up again. "Just leave me… please just leave me and my Chloe." She cried, the tears falling onto the stone cold concrete. Emma punched in the code, and the door up to CID swung open. She watched her feet run up the stairs, her mind numb to any feelings, people or sentiments people were sending her way, until she was grabbed around the shoulders, almost being sent flying backwards.

"Emma, calm down… your fine now. I was about to ring you and tell you a car would come and pick you up." Gina said quickly. Emma nodded, the words not sinking in. Gina dug her hand into her pocket and handed Emma a tissue. "If you calm yourself down, and then go and see DCI Meadows. He'll bring you up to speed." Emma obediently took some deep breaths, closing her eyes, ridding her mind of all the crippling insults she was hurling at the media in her mind. "Good girl. The DCI's waiting for you in his office." Gina left Emma, as she turned around almost knocking Will over as he raced to watch up with Emma.

"Emma!" Will shouted desperately as she disappeared through the CID doors. She turned around, stopping for a split second, looking at him blankly, before she carried on walking. Gina opened her mouth to say something. "It's nothing." Will said forcefully, visibly knocking Gina off her guard. "Oh – God, I'm sorry – it's just it's all getting to Emma, and she's…"

"Taking it out on you." Will nodded.

"Yeah… I don't think she means to. I mean the media were shouting all sorts at her, I told her to calm down and she flipped." Will sighed, shaking his head, not knowing what to do.

"You get back to her – she'll be stronger if you're by her side."

* * *

**_:D _**

**_Thank you for so many nice reviews last chapter - they made me feel really kinda... happy lol! A couple of you said you had insticts over who it was but weren't sure for certain... more of you might think you know, some of you might know you know (haha) but I'm keep schtum. More reviews Quicker UD's...  
...Which means you know what happens sooner :D it's good for us all!!_**

**_Emz x_**


	19. Optimism

_**Crushed**_

_**Chapter nineteen:- Optimism**_

"Chloe Fletcher went missing from the crèche yesterday morning. Will, her father, had dropped her off before he started his shift at Sun Hill station. Emma was already working. Chloe's disappearance was noted after Emma took her break. She decided to go and check on her daughter. Our carer, Janet, then told Emma that Chloe had been taken by this man here." Nate's image flicked up on the screen. Superintendent Heaton paused, looking behind him at the screen. "Nate Roberts is, was, an officer at Sun Hill station. It is thought that he is severely depressed after his wife left him a few months previous to this." Emma bit down on her lip, determined not to break down on the camera. She was picking at several stray threads on her jumper, not looking up at any of the cameras. She chanced a look a Will; he too was looking rather nervous at the many cameras pointing in his direction. He kept glancing at his lap, where a picture of Chloe and Emma lay. "It is critical that we find Chloe as soon as possible for, as you well know, she is only four months old, and incredibly vulnerable. Nate does not know how to look after children, so her safety is of out utmost concern." Heaton paused, flicking through his notes, checking he had covered everything. He took a sip of water before starting again. "A security notice has been placed in all airports and ferry docks around the country, and all Police forces have been noted of Chloe and Nate's appearance. It is not thought her life is in danger, but please under no circumstances, approach Mr Roberts or Chloe. If you do see the pair, then please call Crime Stoppers on the number on your screens." John looked at Emma, who gently took Will's hand from his thigh. She looked at him apprehensively, her eyes speaking for her as she tried to say sorry. Will squeezed her hand and smiled encouragingly. "I'm going to pass you over to Emma and Will who have a few words to say." Emma cleared her throat nervously, and looked up at the large group assembled. They all stayed silent, several flashes overcoming the room.

"Nate, if you're watching, please don't turn the TV off." Emma paused. "Karen, Tim, you probably know where Nate is. And Claire too. I beg you to stop him – wherever he is, whatever he is doing. Please stop him. Nate needs help, and this is his cry. We've all seen that, this stunt has got him noticed." Emma looked at Will for support. They had decided that she would do the talking, for the physiatrist the station had hired thought Nate would be able to relate more to Emma's feelings than Will's. "I know things have been tough for you, but you don't have to carry this on. All I want is to know that Chlo is safe – I just want her back Nate. I'm not cross, and I don't want to press charges…" Several of the officers' mouths gaped open. "It's not what you need. All you have to do is drop Chloe off either at Will's, or back at the station. Somewhere where she'll be found, somewhere where she'll be safe." Emma didn't know what else to say. She'd been pleased with what she had said, and how it had sounded. Her voice was plagued with emotion, and several times it had cracked, but after several deep breaths she was able to continue.

"We have time for…" Heaton looked at his watch quickly. The press conference had taken a lot longer to organise than he had anticipated. "We have time for five questions." Several hands shot in the air, several people shouted out. "Please, don't shout." John recollected attention and order, holding his hand out to one of the women in the front row. "Please?"

"Is it true that you were married to Mr Roberts?" Emma looked panicked, she knew that would come up, but she hadn't really worked out what she'd say. She nodded.

"Yeah… I was." Emma stressed the word 'was'. A few people murmured to the next person. This caused an influx of hands to be raised, new questions lying unanswered. Heaton held out his hand to another female. She was the only red-head in the crowd and her eccentric, less than formal dress style set her apart from the sea of black, grey and navy.

"The Times." She said quickly announcing her newspaper, flashing her ID card. "Is it true that you and Mr Fletcher conceived Chloe on your first wedding anniversary, that is yours and Nate's first wedding anniversary?"

"Is that relevant?" Will asked strongly, knowing what was going through Emma's mind, for the same thoughts were registering in his. Heaton sighed, knowing he'd have to side with Emma and Will on this one, otherwise he'd never head the end of it.

"Please keep your questions relevant to the case in hand. Anything that might be useful in the search for Chloe and Nate only." Several hands shot down, many of the reporters rolling their eyes. "Okay… anyone else?" Heaton probed the now silent room. The reporters shuffled from foot to foot, trying to think of ways to word questions designed to get gossip from the pair.

"Is Nate considered dangerous?" A man at the back piped up, holding the microphone towards the front of the room. Heaton shook his head.

"He is not considered dangerous to the public or to Chloe. What is going on in his head though, unfortunately, is another matter." John said. "Once we find him, we will be able to run full tests to determine his mental state."

"What were the grounds of your marriage break up?" Another voice asked from somewhere in the middle of the room. "Is it connected to Chloe in any way?" The same voice added quickly, pleased with how he had managed to disguise the question. Emma knew he was digging for gossip, but unfortunately, it had been asked in such a way, she had to answer.

"The grounds upon which Nate and I broke up, have nothing what so ever do with you, or anyone other than myself, Nate and Will." Emma said strongly, finding inner strength from somewhere deep in the pit of her stomach.

"The detectives working on the case know exactly why Emma and Nate's marriage collapsed and are taking that into consideration. It isn't relevant to the public, therefore it does not need to be disclosed." Once again Heaton came to the rescue. Will knew he and Emma would have some serious thanking to do once the conference was over. Heaton began to gather the papers spread over the desk he, Emma and Will were sitting behind. He stood up. "I'd like you all to respect Emma and Will's privacy now. It will, from here on in, be considered a breach of the peace if you so much a loiter on the streets around Emma and Will's home or the station." The cameras flicked off and microphones were closed down. Many of the reporters started to chat amongst themselves. "IF ANY REPORTER COMES CLOSE TO EMMA AND WILL THEN THEY WILL BE CHARGED. DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?" Heaton shouted, causing several people to double take. They nodded obediently. He had a knack of getting peoples attention, and making them stick to the words he injected into their mouth. The reports all filed out of the room, some catching Emma and Will's embrace on camera, but they didn't care. Emma had her arms tight around Will's neck and Will had his arms tight around her waist, both of them had tears trickling down their cheeks.

"You did really good there Emma. I'm proud of you. Chloe will be proud of you too." Will said quietly. Emma smiled, it was some comfort that she had been allowed to do something to help bring Chloe back. Gina walked onto the makeshift stage and congratulated Emma and Will, saying much the same as Will had done.

"We'll catch him Emma!" Mickey shouted, before exiting the room. Emma smiled weakly and nodded.

"Yeah – yeah, you will." She agreed. She didn't know how long it would take, but she knew that eventually CID's line of enquiry would lead them to Chloe. They hadn't failed many people yet. Will swept a lone tear from Emma's cheek, before kissing where it had lay. "I'm sorry about earlier." She mumbled.

"Shh…" Will soothed gently. "You're forgiven." He breathed, even quieter than Emma had spoken. "We'll get through this. We'll be stronger on the other side, and most important of all baby, is we'll have out little Chloe Louise back." Emma smiled and reached around Will's neck, standing on tip toes, before pressing her lips against Will's – things looked so much more hopeful when she stayed optimistic.

* * *

**Uh... review?! Please??**

**Thank yous to everyone who is still reviewing after every chapter - they are all really nice which is fab! :D**

**E xxx**


	20. Only Words

_**Crushed**_

_**Chapter twenty:- Only Words**_

_I saw the television appeal at lunchtime. It's strange – I've seen so many of them but none have got me like yours did. But then it was supposed to get me, just like all the ones I've seen in the past were designed to the get the perpetrator, and the perpetrator only. So much of what you said was true, I see that now. This really was my cry for help – but I don't need your help. I've got my own form of punishment. I can't live with what I've done – I've torn your family apart. _

_The last few months have made me realise that I have no place on this Earth without you, and soon, I'll be moving onto better places. You know where I'll be – you used to love taking walks there, especially when you were pregnant and wanted to get out for a while. I should think, when you get home, it'll be too late, and I'll have gone to the better place. Wherever that is. No matter what time it is, I don't want you to come and find me, I don't want you to alert anybody down the station about it either. I just need to be alone… I think you'll understand. I hope you do – you always used to get me. Good luck with Chloe, she'll do well with you as her mummy – and as much as it pains me to say this, she'll do good with Will watching over her too. You and Will have always been good together, and now I look back on things, I've always been in his shadow – I would say good luck with that too – but you won't need it. You're two in six billion. No couple could come close to how you feel about each other. _

_So for now, this is goodbye – you now how crap I am with them._

_Love Nate _

_PS: I need you too know that Chloe was safe whilst she was with me – I made sure I took great care of her. I wouldn't hurt her – she is part of you. I didn't mean to hurt you either doing what I did, but I understand now that I did. I'm sorry – I know it's only words I'm speaking – but I really truly am. _

Emma ran her hand over the creased letter; the ink was running into the creases from Emma's tears. She hadn't realised she was crying. Her hands shook as she read and re-read the letter, not much sunk into her mind except the four words she maybe wished she hadn't read. 'Moving onto better places.' Emma held the letter to her heart. As much as Emma hated to admit it, after all that had happened, Nate still had a special place in her heart.

"I can't believe we've got her back." Will laughed for the fourth time, as he cradled Chloe in his arms, tickling her and rocking her back and forth, not realising the aguish the letter had put Emma in. "Emma?" Will store his eyes from Chloe and spun around to see a white sheet of crumpled paper floating to the ground as Emma raced down the path, tears shining like glitter on her cheeks. "EMMA!" Emma was vaguely aware of Will shouting, but as she ran the wind rippled through her hair, and rushed past her ears, blocking out all sound around her. Emma didn't stop as she ran across the road, strands of hair sticking to her face.

"Karen… its Emma." She sobbed down her phone, as she fumbled with the gate. She'd never noticed it being there before.

"I don't know where Nate is." Karen said stonily in reply to Emma. "I haven't heard from him for months, no thanks to you." Emma held the phone from her ear as she kicked the metal, the gate swinging open.

"But I do – I know where Nate is." Emma said breathlessly as she continued running through the park, along a dirt track that ran alongside the river.

"W…what?"

"I know where Nate is – I think he's at the Queens Park." Emma continued breathlessly, turning as she ran, looking in every part of the park, her eyes darting from one area to another quickly.

"With Chloe?" Emma could hear footsteps beating in the background, before a door slammed shut.

"No… no. Chloe's safe – she's back home with Will." Emma replied, her voice shaking as she ran towards a bridge. "NATE!" She screamed, holding the phone from her mouth. Several people looked at her. "NATE!!" She repeated even louder, looking down the opposite side of the river. She hadn't expected anyone to answer. Emma ventured into a quarter of the park thick with trees. The early fallen tree leaves crunched beneath her feet, and twigs snapped with every step she took. Shadows cast over the floor, several times she was forced to look behind trees her paranoia of seeing Nate creeping up on her one to many times.

"Where are you, love?" Karen asked, her voice finding a new spark of compassion.

"In the woods." Emma breathed quietly, as if scared someone was following her. "But he's not in here. I've checked… on the south side of the park. He's nowhere." Emma walked on autopilot towards the light at the edge of the trees. She rejoined the path, walking back over another bridge.

"I'll check around the side closest to my house." Karen said, the panic in her voice rising.

Emma froze, stopping in her tracks as several trickles of a thick scarlet liquid met her feet. Her eyes unwillingly followed the trail that got thicker the further it got from her, and closer to…

"Nate…" Emma breathed rushing to his side, crouching down, holding his hand tightly in her free hand. "Middle bridge… he's on the middle bridge Karen." Emma whispered hoarsely, her phone dropping from her ear, as she raced to put Nate in the recovery position. Emma watched blood drip from her hands, as she realised his wrists were severed several times, each cut deeper than the last and going in a different direction. She tore her hoodie from around her shaking frame, tightly wrapping it around Nate's wrists. She shook her head, trying to find a pulse in his neck. The hoodie didn't seem to be doing much, every time Emma chanced a look towards the pale, lifeless body before her, more blood seemed to be splattered over the material. Emma looked around, feeling a hand on her shoulder. "I can't stop it." Emma sobbed, her tears falling onto Nate's t-shirt.

"There's an ambulance on the way." Karen said, pulling Emma away from Nate. Emma grabbed at her phone, just before it went out of her reach. She tapped in a number she knew only too well.

"Will…" Emma said softly, her sobs easing as she heard his voice at the end of the line. "I've found Nate." She swallowed hard. "I need you to phone the station – he's in the park… I dunno if he's going to make it…" Emma could hear Chloe's screams in the background. "Will… is Chloe OK?" Emma asked.

"She's… fine. She won't stop screaming. I think she's hungry… Emz I can't deal with her without you…" He whined, racing around the house, clattering about in his usual loud way, but now he had an excuse. He picked up his mobile and dialled in Sun Hill's number. "I'm just about to get onto the station…" He trailed off as Emma heard a distinctly familiar voice. "Emma's found Nate." Will said simply, all emotion lost from his voice, much the opposite to Emma's. "'Ang on ' I'll ask 'er… Emz where are you babe? Which park?"

"Queens Park. I'm on the middle bridge." Emma said. Will repeated Emma's words totally, before saying 'bye' to Smithy. "I've got to go…" Emma didn't wait for Will to say bye, she dropped her phone on the grass, and looked helplessly onto Nate. The many hours she had spent training for a First Aid qualification no help to her what so ever. She thought she'd be competent when she practised it outside of the controlled environment of the Police Training centre, but this was proving her wrong.

"What can we do?" Karen asked suddenly, Emma was taken aback; this was the first time she had shown emotion since they had found Nate. Emma shrugged and watched Karen take her son's hand in her own as she rocked back and forth on the wooden bridge, sirens blaring the background of the gathering crowd's hype. Emma wouldn't have thought anything of the sirens, but she knew they were for Nate, she knew the louder they got, the bigger the chance was of Nate pulling through.

"Stand back, STAND BACK!" The same voice repeated, each time louder, each time for impatient. "Who…"

"Emma Keane, and Karen Roberts." Emma said quickly, motioning to herself and then Karen. "I… I'm his ex-wife, and she's his mother…"

"You're… you're Chloe's mother – right?" The medic asked, struck by how caring Emma was being towards Nate. Emma nodded.

"Yeah – but for fucks sake, get on with saving him." Emma said. Several of the mothers tutted and covered their childrens ears. "He doesn't deserve to die – not yet…" The medic nodded, before pressing down on Nate's chest whilst the other ran over to the blood-ridden scene, a stretcher bobbing up and down in his arms. Karen's hand was prized from Nate's as the two men lifted him onto a stretcher, before rushing him to the ambulance a few meters away. Emma looked at Karen and took hold of her shoulders. "You need to be with him more than I do – he needs to be with you more than he needs to be with me. Go with him." Emma pushed Karen over towards the ambulance, before turning back to where Nate had been lying seconds before, already forensic investigators were swarming it and the bridge was being roped off by Smithy. Will ducked under the white and blue plastic after covering his trainers with the white plastic bags. Emma fell against him, his arms open for her as he tightly encased her body.

"Debbie next door has Chloe." Will said, answering Emma's unasked question, as if reading her mind. Emma nodded into his shirt. She could feel her heart beating against his chest. "What happened?" Emma shrugged, before pulling away. She walked over to the other side of the bridge.

"I walked out from the trees… I was thinking… about everything. I was talking to Karen on the phone." Emma paused and stopped where the bloodstain finished. "I was the blood… I think I knew it was Nate's, but I didn't trust myself 'til I saw his… his face." Emma doubled over, clinging onto the bridge for support as tears rushed out of her eyes faster than the rain that was setting in. Photographers from the media quickly snapped away, before running to safety of their vans, making sure their equipment was unscathed, as crime scene investigators plotted out lines with chalk before snapping away, making sure that they had the evidence they needed before it was washed away. Emma held her hands to her hair, running them through her damp hair as she watched the water rush beneath her, the pebble sized raindrops splashing into the river, soaking her though.

"Let's get you home…" Will said supporting Emma's body as he pulled her away from the railings as she started to shiver. Emma pulled way in protest.

"I have to go and see Nate." Will looked taken aback, almost like he'd been slapped in the face. "I know we aren't together anymore, but he still has a special place here." Emma held her hand to her heart. "He's hurt me unbelievably, but I can't forget about him, I can't leave him now." Will sighed he shoulders dropping.

"I'll drop you down, but you can't expect me to come in with you Emma. He abducted my daughter – I wasn't attached to him before and I'm certainly not now." Emma nodded understandingly and let Will drag her through the mob of people, both of them soaked to the skin, their clothes sticking to their bodies in new places every time they moved into a new position.

* * *

**_Two chapters to go after this!! Hope you are still enjoying it... lots of action in this chapter... _**

**_Yeah... sorta happy ending in the sense Chloe is ok, but it's almost gone from bad to worse spesh if you're a Nate fan._**

**_:D_**

**_Em x_**


	21. Step Back

_**Crushed**_

_**Chapter twenty-one:- Step Back**_

"How's he doing?" Emma asked, suddenly alerting Karen to her presence at the Hospital. Emma pressed her hands to the Perspex window between her and Nate. His body was lying motionless on a flat green bench, he had tubes stuck to him all over, and the only sign he was alive was the dull beeping noise the heart monitor emitted every few seconds. Emma watched the electric blue line jab up and down – it was reassuring to say the least.

"They think he's going to be ok… they want to have him sectioned though…" Karen said. Emma's hands dropped to her side, her mouth gaped open. "Something to do with him not being fit to liaise with the public."

"I don't think that'll do 'im any good." Emma said, her mind still absorbing the information.

"What do you know about what's good for him or not?" Karen snapped. Emma took and step backward, and ran her hand through her straggly, damp hair. "Sorry…" Karen closed her eyes. "Look, I know you know him well and everything… I just haven't quite come to terms with the fact that you left him. He worshipped the ground you walked on. When you were dating – even before then, all we heard when he came home was Emma this and Emma that. I've never seen him quite so… besotted!"

"It was for the best. I know, right now, it doesn't seem like that. But when Chloe gets older, it'll save so many questions." Emma said quietly. "Nate knew that Chloe wasn't his… he's not as stupid as he looks y'ano…" Karen smiled faintly.

"That's what one of his secondary school teachers put in one of his reports…" She said, her eyes quite obviously in another place. "Not just brawn, but a lot of brain… most of his teachers just thought he was a waste of space, they didn't think that was he was aspiring to do was very worthwhile…" Emma put her arm around Karen and sighed. "I think you did the right thing with Chloe by the way." Karen said earnestly. Emma looked up at her, shocked.

"Really?"

"Yeah… I do… you say Nate knew that Chloe wasn't his, that wouldn't of stopped him getting close to her. So when the news finally did come out, it would have hurt both Nate and Chloe unbelievably. He would have been worse than this… much worse…"

"I thought you'd hate me being here…" Emma said. "You're supposed to take his side on stuff an' all that… but then dad took Nate's side… he idolised him y'ano." Emma smiled, looking back through the window. "He thought that 'coz he was a police officer – and a respected one at that, he'd be great for me. Wouldn't let me step out of line and all that. He's really old fashioned with his stupid opinions and beliefs."

"What, like… I dunno, like a woman's place in the family is to have kids and stuff?" Karen asked. The only time she had met Emma's parents was the wedding, so it was safe to say she didn't know much about them.

"Yeah – I guess." Emma grinned. Karen and Emma lapsed into silence, their minds consumed with good thoughts about Nate. Emma sat down on the metal bench, only just realising that she was sitting outside of ICU. "He is going to be OK isn't he?" Emma asked frowning, her gaze transfixed to the sign on the door. Karen shrugged and sat down next to Emma.

"Mrs Roberts?" Both Emma and Karen looked up at the reasonably young doctor standing before them. Emma blushed, realising that after a year of being referred to as that, she still hadn't got it out of her system. She looked behind her at Karen and motioned to the door.

"I'll leave you too it." Emma said, looking back up at the doctor and smiling. "Thank you…" She said. The doctor nodded, about to say something along the lines of 'It's just my job.' But he decided better of it. Emma stood up, and walked away from Karen, aware of the soles of her trainers slipping against the lino flooring. "When he wakes up… tell him I'm thinking of him… and… well d'you mind giving me a call?" Emma asked, just before she slid through the door.

"Course – you go home, make sure Chloe's alright. He wouldn't have hurt her… I know she's only young, but she will have known that something wasn't right." Emma nodded, and mouthed 'thanks', words escaping her, as she was touched my Karen's loving words.

"I'm home!" Emma shouted, as she pulled the keys from the lock on the door to Will's flat. Emma heard Will jump from the sofa in the next room, straight away making sure she was ok. "I'm fine…" She smiled weakly, taking Chloe from Will's arms. "Is she ok?" Emma asked worriedly, checking Chloe over for any sign of bruising or marking.

"She's fine. I took her down to the doctors surgery and the doctor ran loads of tests and was happy with how she looks." Emma nodded, cradling Chloe in her arms, rocking her back and forth.

"I'm not going to let her out of my sight Will." Emma said defiantly. Will sighed; he'd known this was coming. "I want to give up work." She added. Now Will definitely hadn't seen that coming.

"It was only Nate!" Will protested, placing his hand on the small of Emma's back and guiding her through to the lounge, before he sat down on the sofa. "Janet's being investigated and the regulations regarding who can take a child from the crèche are being reviewed. It won't ever happen again."

"But I can't take the risk! What kind of mother would it make me if I was willing to put my daughter in harms way?" Emma asked, smiling down at the gurgling baby before her. Will got up and walked silently over to the kitchen, filling up the kettle before putting it back on it's cradle, slamming the button down. Will lifted himself up onto the worktop, and looked at Emma. "You're not going to change my mind Will. At least until Chloe starts school, I have to look after her."

"What about your mum and dad… and my mum will help." Will suggested.

"No way. I'm not going to let my parents bring up my daughter. I resented them when I was growing up – I've always said to myself that I'm not going to bring up my children how they brought up me. And it wouldn't be fair on your mum to have her when we're on shifts. It wouldn't be fair on Chloe either. She'd grow up thinking that her parent's work is more important than her. And it just isn't."

"What about asking Gina if you can go part time for a few years, until Chloe can start pre-school. Mum could have Chloe if our shifts clash, but most of the time I'm sure Gina wouldn't mind us both being on different shifts. She'd understand why after everything that's happened." Will persisted, clattering about in the kitchen, gathering two cups and two tea bags. Emma didn't say anything, waiting for the tea to be plonked down in front of her. "Who would I have to laugh with on the long shifts if you left 'ey?" Will said, as he sat down, sipping the steaming mug.

"I'd be waiting for you at home. I'd have the tea ready; I'd have Chloe in bed. You'd have me all to yourself for a few hours…" Emma said, trying to see the advantages to her new lifestyle. She sounded like the woman her dad had tried to carve her into. Emma and Will lapsed into an uncomfortable silence, both trying to come up with a compromise that would please them both.

"We can't afford for you to give up work completely y'ano." Will said matter of factly.

"Fine. I'll go part time, but I want it to be absolutely clear that if you're on your shift, then I'm not on mine. If that doesn't work then I'm stopping working, sod the finances." Emma said stubbornly. "I've just lost all my trust in everyone." Emma said, putting Chloe down in her rocker and cuddling into Will. "I can't even trust my own parents with her…"

"You've given your reasons though darlin'. And that's not that you can't trust them…" Will said. "I mean… there might be times if you go back full time once Chloe has started school, you'll need to ask your parents for a little help. They're bound to spoil her rotten – she's their only grandchild." Emma nodded. "But we don't have to think about that until it comes to it."

"Four years… I think we'll sort something out." Emma smiled, tilting her head up, kissing Will softly. "You've been amazing like… yesterday and today… most people would have gone ballistic if I'd said I was going to see Nate." Emma jumped away from Will, her phone vibrating in her pocket. She looked at the caller ID and looked apologetically at Will who retracted his arm from around her. "Hi Karen… he's woken up?" Emma asked, shocked. "Oh my God! That's great news!" Emma beamed, looking at Will, who also managed to smile. "So that's it, he's totally OK… wow – that's great Karen! I'll come down and see him sometime – make sure you get yourself some rest though." Emma added, her tone full of worry. "Sure… you better go then, bye!" Emma finished the call and threw her phone onto the coffee table.

"Is it all good?" Will asked, jealousy hinting in his voice. Emma picked up on this.

"Yep! He's fine…" She replied happily, feeling a massive weight lift from her shoulders. "Stop looking so worried Will! It doesn't make any different to us." Emma said, pulling her legs under he body and sitting to face Will. "If this was designed to split us up, then it won't, and never will." Will nodded, and took Emma's hand from her side. "I promise." Emma looked at Chloe quickly, realising she had been oblivious to her gurgling for the last ten minutes. Will smiled, Emma really was going to be the most protective mother ever – and maybe that was a good thing too, they both knew what London was really like.

"She's fine!" Will smiled. "I don't think much can happen in ten minutes. The door's locked; no one can get in. It's just the three of us in here babe." Emma grinned and nodded – maybe it was ok for her to take a tiny step back when they were at home.

* * *

**_I'm off camping now for the rest of the week, so this will be the last update until at least Friday - then, on Saturday I'm going to France for two weeks so if you don't get an update before Saturday, then I'm really sorry but it'll be because I'm rushed off my feet not because I'm being mean and making you wait for the last(!!) chapter. _**

**_Hope you enjoy this... and yeah, please review obviously, otherwise not updating might turn into meaness _**

**_:D_**

**_Haha, anyways... uhm... yeah... thanks to everyone who has reviewed so far - Em xxx_**


	22. Epilouge Moving On

_**Crushed**_

**_Chapter twenty-two:- Moving On_**

**_Epilogue_**

**_September 2013; Sun Hill, London.  
_**"You be a good girl Chloe!" Emma smiled, leaning down to the young girls height and pulling her into a hug. Chloe wrapped her arms tight around Emma's neck, her blonde pigtails dancing in the breeze.

"You can let go now mummy!" Chloe smiled cheekily. Emma grinned and let go, ruffling Chloe's hair.

"They grow up quickly, huh?" Chloe's schoolteacher smiled, looking over at the three of them from one side of the playground. Emma nodded and looked at the sea on tiny children dressed royal blue cardigans or jumpers with little white shirts to match. The girls were wearing grey skirts with thick woolly grey tights and patent black shoes that shone in the dull sunlight. Chloe was no exception to that rule. The boys were wearing grey trousers, many of which had their shirts pulled below their jumpers as their mothers fussed trying to get them to look presentable. Emma stood up and laced her hand through Will's. She caught another mother's eye as she walked towards Emma being pulled by a little girl who was no taller than Chloe with identical grey eyes and hair length. The only difference was the little girl walking towards them had rich brown hair.

"I'm Tiffany." The little girl said shyly, looking at Chloe. Chloe smiled.

"I'm Chloe Louise Fletcher… this is my mummy and daddy." She said proudly. Emma couldn't help but laugh, she wondered how long it would be before she was pushing her and Will away due to mega embarrassment.

"That's my mummy." Tiffany said pointing at the woman she had dragged over. The mother rolled her eyes and looked at Emma. "Come on Chloe! Let's go and play! We can be best friends now!" Tiffany and Chloe wrapped their arms together and ran off where the other children were congregated.

"I guess we'll be seeing a lot of each other." Emma smiled, not taking her eyes from the two girls. She had detached a lot recently, but she still was a little wary about leaving Chloe for a full day with a teacher she didn't know – a teacher who looked like she was only just out of teacher training.

"Yeah – I'm Tina by the way. We should probably get the girls together out of school sometime." Emma nodded eagerly.

"Yeah – that would be great! You could bring Tiffany around for coffee on Saturday if you like." Emma suggested, quickly glancing at Will who nodded – she still didn't really think of the flat as being hers as well as Will's.

"Yeah Tiff would love that." Tina enthused. Emma got a piece of paper out of her handbag and quickly scribbled down her home number with a pen she didn't realise she had. At the top of the page she wrote 'Emma Keane' on.

"This is my number." Emma said, handing Tina the scrap, self consciously taking hold of Will's hand as Tina's eyes ran over her name. She knew exactly what she was thinking – everyone did when they realised Chloe's name was different to Emma's. Many avoided Emma and Chloe completely after that.

"I'll give you a call tonight then. I'm sure we'll have to drag ourselves away from the girls – I dunno about Chloe but Tiffany could certainly have a good stab and Gold Medal at the talking games." Emma giggled and rolled her eyes – she and Will knew a lot about chatty, hyper girls. "Oh – I better be off. My boss won't be happy!" Tina said, after glancing at her watch. Emma smiled – she suspected she and Will would be in trouble at work too. "Bye Tiffany!" Tina shouted, turning away from Emma. Tiffany came running over and hugged her mother tightly before Chloe called her back, and Tiffany did just that. She hurtled right back towards Chloe, brandishing her half naked, half decapitated Barbie towards her. "See ya." Tina said to Emma, before almost running back through the play ground, obviously very late.

"Chloe!" Will shouted. This time it was Chloe's turn to come running towards the pair. She was grasping Ken around the neck, blissfully aware of his left leg dropping off half way over. "What must it be like to be young again?" Will whispered to Emma just before Chloe launched herself into his arms. Emma grinned, loosing herself in her imagination. "Be good for Miss Kent." Will said. Chloe nodded. "And be nice to all the other children, and make lots of friends."

"I have done daddy!" Chloe interrupted. "Tiffany's my friend now!" Will rolled his eyes.

"Ok then darling – you be nice to the other children then and if anyone wants to play with you, then make sure you let them; yes?" Chloe nodded, before she started struggling in Will's arms. Will kissed Chloe's head, before dropping her back to the floor. "Bye sweetie."

"I'm not sweetie! I'm Chloe Louise Fletcher!" Chloe said, putting her tiny hands on her hips, before she ran off, back to the other children.

"Okay, it give me great pleasure in welcoming back two of our officers today. Emma is back on a full time basis seeing as Chloe has started school." Everyone cheered, much like they had done when Emma had come back from maternity leave. "Which also means that we'vegot rid of the delightful Zoë again. Just this time it better be for good." Everyone murmured their opinion on what they'd do if Zoë came back – it generally shared the same sentiments. "And finally, last but not least, Nate Roberts is back with us." Nobody really knew how to react, but luckily he wasn't at the meeting. "Look, I know for a lot of you, Nate was a close friend. He's ok now, and I'm sure Sally, Beth, Emma, Will and Ben, you'll all be able to see the same Nate you knew six, seven years ago." They all nodded, no one had heard from Nate since he'd left hospital after he'd tried to take his own life. "Please be a little bit more natural when you see him." Smithy pleaded, looking on at the faces before her. Many didn't know who Nate was, and maybe that was a good thing. The relief murmured 'Guv' in response, or just nodded, many knowing they would call him 'Sarge', for he wasn't long Inspector. He knew it was going to take a while to get him relief back up to it's standards of a few years ago, but he'd get there. "Pairings are as follows: Emma and Sally – ladies, I do want some work done today. I know you have a lot of catching up to do, but that can wait." Emma and Sally grinned at each other and then at Smithy who groaned, hitting the plastic clipboard against his head. "Beth and Richard, Ester and Ben, Hannah I'd like you to go with Nate – fresh start and all that – he should be waiting for you in CID and finally Will you're with me." Everyone looked around, all happy with their pairings – it's was hard not to be – Zoë and Miles had gone – it was all agreed anyone would have been better than those two.

Emma bounced out of the Meeting Room, almost straight into Nate who had been lingering outside.

"Oh… err… hi." Emma said, tucking a stand of her hair behind her ear. Nate smiled. "How are you?" She asked, hoping it sounded like she was being friendly, not just asking to be polite.

"Oh… y'ano…" Nate shrugged. "It's weird being back in London… Wales ain't 'alf different. Even Cardiff is worlds apart." Emma's eyes practically popped out of her head. Wales?

"So that's where you disappeared off to!" She smiled. Emma looked at the floor, a band of gold around Nate's left ring finger catching her eye. Nate pushed his hand into his pocket and glanced at Emma nervously. "So… go on…" Emma prompted.

"Oh… she's called Maria. She was in the Met in Wales, but she comes from London." Nate said, a pink tinge creeping up his neck.

"Wow – you happy?" Nate nodded eagerly.

"It's been the best year and a half in such a long time." he said genuinely. He wasn't sure it really lived up to how he'd felt with Emma, but he had to keep reminding himself that the whole of his and Emma's relationship was based on lies.

"That's great!" Emma beamed. "I'm so pleased for you!"

"Emma! What was it Smithy said about gossiping! I've not even got a word in yet!" Sally shouted from half way down the corridor after pulling herself from conversation with Hannah. Emma whipped around, before turning to face Nate again, replacing the smile that had appeared, with a slight more serious expression.

"We should meet up sometime – go for a drink maybe?" Nate suggested quietly. He wanted to know how Chloe was, whether Emma was still with Will and whether they had any more children. He couldn't see a commitment ring of any sort – maybe they weren't even together any more. He'd expected Emma and Will to be down the aisle like a shot as soon as the divorce papers had come through.

"Yeah, that'd be really good." Emma nodded, slowly coming around to the idea. It would do them both good to become friends again. And she had to admit, it would be a great chance to find out more about Nate's new life. "I'd really, really like that."

"E-M-M-A!" Sally moaned, elongating each letter. Emma and Nate laughed.

"I better go – but I'll give you a call about that drink." Emma said, quickly hugging Nate. "I've missed you." She said softly, before turning around. She could barely look him in the eye. "Your mum wouldn't tell me where you'd gone – I was beside myself with worry – I thought you'd done something stupid…"

"I'm here – I'm fine!" Nate said, holding his arms out. Emma's eyes diverted to the many little white scars lining his wrist. Nate's eyes followed Emma's gaze. "At least I think I am…" He frowned mockingly, rubbing his arms to make sure – Emma couldn't help but smile. The Nate she had known all those years ago was definitely back; careless, free and full of life as ever.

* * *

**_Okay - as promised :D_**

**_I guess it's kind of a different ending, but I hope you like it... I wasn't really sure what to do and I thought think rounded it off quite nicely. Thank you so much to Abi, Jilly and Hollie who reviewed the last chapter and also to As1999, Kim, Kat and SassyJ who have reviewed throughout as well._**

**_Special thanks to Jilly who is the best, most faithful Beta ever - couldn't ask for anymore in her. _**

**_This is for everyone who has read and not necessarily reviewed - and obviously, it goes without saying for those who have reviwed continuously. It means a lot to me._**

**_Hope you have enjoyed reading it  
Watch this space:-  
Emily x_**


End file.
